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• Tis the Season for Sexually Assaulting Santa

  Santa is accusing a woman of groping him at a Connecticut mall: "The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted," police Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said of the weekend complaint. Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace. She was released on a promise to appear in court on Jan. 3. Police quickly found and identified Lamy because the woman was described as being on crutches, said Capt. Bob Myles. "I've had some very nice ladies sit on my lap," said Connaghan, who did not train the Danbury Fair Santa. "Once in a while they'll say 'I hope Mrs. Claus isn't going to be upset.' You have to be discreet and kind and say 'Oh no, she'll be OK. You can sit here, but only for one photo.'" She should have just gone to Santacon. SFGate.com: Woman Accused of Groping Mall Santa (Thanks, William and Ann!) Image via dirtyrottensanta.com  Posted Dec 18 2007, 02:22 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: santa, santacon, groping, connecticut, malls

• Santa Got Back

  As mentioned on Friday, we had our first experience with Santacon this weekend. We opted for not-so-slutty American Apparel Elf, and quickly learned that we were in-no-way-at-all slutty, and we were absolutely not that girl ("that girl" was wearing a teensy-weensy skirt and a candy cane hat and we saw her make out with at least four different guys in one hour). Maybe if we'd dressed a little sluttier we would have made out with even just one (not that we didn't get a few offers from some smelly, slurring Santas). To give you a sense of what Santacon was like, and spread some holiday cheer, here's a video taken early in the day, before the real mayhem began. All you need to know is: kids and Santas rapping "Baby Got Back." And you can stop watching after the first minute or two (pretty anti-climactic) but if you watch to the end, you'll learn that the kid is looking for a date and that everyone there was a "fat ho'."   Posted Dec 10 2007, 03:37 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: video, santa, santacon, american apparel, mobs, slutty santa, that girl

• What's Red, White and Drunk All Over?

  Why it's Santatcon, the biggest Santa convention, probably, ever. And that's where you'll find us tomorrow. Well, no, you most likely won't find us among the 500 or so drunk Santas, but that shouldn't stop you from looking. Unless you're a creepy stalker, in that case, it should stop you from looking. And if you're not in New York you can find a Santacon near you. This will be our first year participating in Santacon so we're still debating between stuffed-sweats Santa or slutty-American-Apparel Santa. Decisions, decisions. Photo from nycmstar's flickr.  Posted Dec 07 2007, 09:57 AM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: santa, santacon, american apparel, mobs