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The Bachelorette Finale: Can You Effing Believe It?

Posted by Nicole Ankowski



Well, she got what she wanted (a ring). She looked great (like a Greek goddess). And she got whom she wanted...

Jesse. Jesse? Jesse!


Jeremy seemed perfect. Jason seemed more perfect. Jesse seemed…like the kinda crazy, half-assed guy we’d actually go for. But…marry Jesse? Anyone else shocked out there? Just because a guy can snowboard with you on his back does not mean you should be heading to the altar anytime soon.


Though, to be honest, we couldn’t wipe the goofy grin off our faces while watching his proposal. DeAnna and Jesse do seem totally, totally head over heels in love with each other. (Again: a good time to head to an island and snog each other’s brains out. Not the best time to perhaps jump into a life partnership? Or are we just jaded?)

But, here’s the sweet proposal. All is well until the stupid montage with Natasha Bedingfield blaring in the background (good song, bad montage):



 


But as much as DeAnna purported to “know exactly” what the guys are going through, watching her reject Jason was awful. And didn’t explain shit. How would you feel if these were the reasons given for someone not wanting you?

“You have no idea how much I care about you. You’re this amazing, perfect person that I’ve never had in my life before. I know that my life would always be good with you. That I would always be safe and that I could depend on you. And even though I am falling in love with you, I am in love with someone else.”


And then, after being rejected, he wipes her tears away!


One thing is for certain: Jason will be getting laid after this broadcast, most def. But we hope he’ll also find love. Here’s to an amazing journey of your own, dude.



 


 The same to Jeremy. The producers are evil geniuses, in that they let him go back to DeAnna’s room and plead his case, after she rejected him.




What do you think: will one of the J’s be the next Bachelor?

 

Previously:
“The Bachelorette”: What Went Wrong?
Last Night: The Bachelorette Breakdown!
“The Bachelorette” Boys Wear Ellen DeGeneres’ Underwear

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

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