"You guys believe my kind of weird-sounding reason for leaving Speed-The-Plow, right?" 

 

That's right -- just two months after premiering on Broadway in the scabrous Hollywood comedy Speed-The-Plow, Entourage star Jeremy Piven has bailed from the high-profile production, which was one of the few successes the Great White Way has seen this year.

And could it have been that Piven, a notorious cad about town whatever town he happens to be in, dropped out because he was partying too much, as some has speculated? No, say his reps own mouth and lips -- he dropped out due to high levels of mercury in his system. Said David Mamet, Speed-The-Plow's not-terribly shy author: Reaaaaaalllllly?

"I talked to Jeremy on the phone and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury," the prolific playwright told Daily Variety. "So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."

We believe that's what a "Zing!" sounds like when it's got a Pulitzer.

Actually, from what we can tell, Mamet believes the kid's really sick, or at least is saying as much, so why wouldn't we? So get well soon, Piven, and lay off the sushi! (Yes, we mean that literally.)