The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

 

We try not to dwell on the weight fluctuations of celebrities, since our greatest collective fear on this blog is-- shot in the dark-- that someone will point out our own problems with bacon cheeseburgers and failed diet plans.

But when the entire internet is worried that Lindsay Lohan is starving herself to death, we really have no choice but to investigate. Thankfully, we didn't have to spend all our waking hours on this or stare too hard at the evidence... it's pretty clear from this topless shoot Lohan did recently for Hedi Slimane that there's at least one thing wrong with her...

Drumroll, rimshot... she has fake boobs.

For years, scientists and other observers (i.e. mean bloggers) have commented that Lindsay's bust enhanced at precisely the time she transitioned to "adult" roles. (Unfortunately, not that kind of "adult" role.) No one could say definitively... until now, at least, according to those same mean bloggers. They're playing the "told you so" song and pointing out that the new ultra-skinny Lindsay should have sagging breasts, what with all the weight loss.

In other words, if we were going to title this article more inappropriately, it would be headlined: "The Rise and Rise of Lindsay Lohan's Boobs."

Here's what they're referring to-- the only two boob pictures from the shoot:

 

What do you think? Does this prove, disprove, or have no bearing on the theories? Also, um, should we give her one of our bacon cheeseburgers or something? Disturbing stuff...

Via Hedi Slimane's website.

 

Related:

Today in the Apocalypse: Barbie Got Even Skinnier

Sloppy Seconds: Why Sam Won't Leave Lindsay

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine