Register Now!
18

2. "The first time we went out ended in handcuffs..."

Male • 16 years old • Houston

I was a girl-crazy junior in high school when I noticed a sophomore who was in two of my classes. She was a swimmer with a great toned body and sexy eyes. We started to hang out in the same group of friends and quickly it was clear there was a mutual attraction. The first time we went out ended in handcuffs, a misdemeanor charge for criminal mischief, and our parents coming to the police station to pick us up. Not the ideal first date, but I guess it was foreshadowing things to come.


Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

Our parents did everything they could to keep us away from each other, which just fueled our determination to be together. We made out in the back stairwell at school and in parks after dark, and we'd sneak out to meet in the middle of the night. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, but neither of us ever had a condom, so we both remained virgins.

I finally bought some condoms and we agreed to meet in the parking lot around lunch and skip school that afternoon. Our options for privacy were limited. We couldn't guarantee either of our houses would be empty and my little Nissan wasn't exactly spacious, so we found an empty cul-de-sac in an abandoned development away from everything. I parked the car and spread out a blanket on the rough field grass. We took off our pants, and I fumbled with the condom until I was finally in.

In what felt like ten seconds later, we heard a car coming down the abandoned road — not just any car, but a police car coming to interrupt our little party in the middle of nowhere. Unlike Seth Rogen in Superbad, the female police officer had no problem cock-blocking me, and after we got dressed she took the swimmer in for truancy because she was under sixteen. After her mom got the second call from the police to pick her up, we had to get even more careful about tricking our parents. But we were able to stay away from the police, and the extreme efforts turned out to be worth it.

NEXT: "Under false pretenses, three-thousand miles away from home..."

Comments ( 18 )

this is great. The Hasidic one is my favorite

Ben commented on Jun 22 10 at 12:34 pm

Perfect sex in a hammock sounds good on paper. But man, being on bottom while merely making out was a bit wobbly. I give them props for making this happen.

Corabelle commented on Jun 22 10 at 3:03 pm

Another case of how religion makes things crap.

Moops commented on Jun 22 10 at 4:24 pm

Glad to know I'm the only one who didn't loose their virginity as a teenager... :-\

Steve commented on Jun 22 10 at 5:46 pm

No you're not Steve.

Christ commented on Jun 22 10 at 11:27 pm

You are definitely not the only one Steve :)

Jess commented on Jun 23 10 at 12:09 am

Totally not the only one, Steve.

Jen commented on Jun 23 10 at 1:31 am

You waited until you were a teenager?

John commented on Jun 23 10 at 2:03 am

The second story that ended with handcuffs must have been from a long time ago. If something like that happened today there would be sex offender charges thrown in there instead of just a misdemeanor.

asdf commented on Jun 23 10 at 2:25 am

The second story with police happened to me and my girlfriend before. The cop was a total dick telling me to "get the f*** out of here, you disgust me" and "How dare you take advantage of this girl like this". It was pretty rediculous how bad they were trying to make it look. I was 19 and she was 18. Not my first time having sex, but I can relate to the story.

Dude commented on Jun 23 10 at 6:56 am

Wish the illustrations had a bit more diversity when the narrator's features weren't explicitly described.

Ehh commented on Jun 23 10 at 9:17 am

its so sad for the last story
:(

awd commented on Jun 23 10 at 12:36 pm

The 4th story is beautiful and sad and lovely and so well-written.

Name commented on Jun 23 10 at 3:45 pm

Yeah, no you're not Steve.

Christ2 commented on Jun 23 10 at 6:45 pm

Great stuff, but would be nice to include at least one boy-boy or girl-girl first timer.

V commented on Jun 23 10 at 8:31 pm

agreed.

joa commented on Jun 24 10 at 12:19 am

yeah, it's weird that this is mostly white people illos with the only non-white being... the prostitute? :( and let's get some successful queer stories in here. reflect the rest of us a bit more?

lu commented on Jun 24 10 at 10:06 am

Mine's closest to the hammock...but I was 25... :-D

Jo commented on Jun 24 10 at 10:25 am

Leave a Comment