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Reader Feedback on "Miss Information"
Are there guys out there who actually put socks in their pants? Even if there are, neither men nor women should be excessively girdling or padding themselves anywhere, wearing heel lifts, and men shouldn't be getting fake muscle implants. Be proud of yourself as you are, or make real changes to what you want to and can change (lose weight, lift weights, get plastic surgery, whatever) and accept what you can't change, don't just wear temporary disguises made of foam.
--JM
10/08 |
my personal opinion is that who cares what the hell is in the bra. tits are not the ones talking to you and asking u out. second off you gonna tell me that you are feeling a female with her clothes on how are u gonna diss her if she does not have alot of breasts. to defend the women i use padded bra sometimes when my tits hurt to avoid banging them into something, we don't say shit when guys put socks in there pants.
--tc
10/07 |
I know women have been getting more societal pressure on their appearance than men have in this country for half a century at least now. (Though I've notice that men's head and body hair have started to become regular media targets. Ya! The next generation of men will be as insecure about themselves as the next generation of women! Won't that be great? I don't think so.) But using a push up bra above a certain size is more than just building self-confidence, it's deception. Most guys like women to show off what they have a bit, but making it look like you have a lot more than you do is different. While I agree that a guy to whom that's important should have figured out by now how to tell the difference, it is what it says about the woman' character that is kind of the point. But to women who claim they can't find bras that aren't push ups, I say, who are you kidding? If the only bras you can find are push-ups, stop shopping at Victoria's Secret or lingerie stores. I've shopped for bras with both my current and ex-wife, neither of which liked (or needed) extra padding. They had no trouble finding either sensible or sexy bras without anything more than a lining for comfort. Heck, you can even find non-push up bras in Victoria's Secret if you walk past the window displays.
--MH
10/06 |
" Readers, some more practical suggestions for my tit-loving friend?" Look for women who follow the current fashion for a strong display of cleavage. Sure, a push-up emphasises size, but cannot make a delicate Chinese body look like Barbie, and it says things he wants to know: "I have big breasts, I want you to know that, let's have fun with them". If he also wants them droop-free, though, he had better search among nudists or in microgravity. Bigger means (mostly) gravity wins.
--TP
10/06 |
AZ & MW, I'm not sure you get the point. I, at least, AM looking for a general type of woman, and I think most men are. I'm not discounting a woman because she doesn't perfectly fit some ideal physical parameter of mine (& my ideal is quite different than "Fill My Cup"'s). And when you have an attraction & form a connection, that's based on everything. How you feel about that person's personality, how you're attracted to them physically, everything. When *excessive* deception is discovered (I'm not talking about minor padding), you learn something negative & disappointing about their personality (they're insecure, don't accept themselves, they think deception is ok). And, if they excessively re-shaped their body via deception, there's some disappointment they are not as they presented themselves to be. Are you just fine to find out the man you're dating wears a toupee, heel lifts, shoulder padding, & has body implants (some men do get them) to have a more muscular shape? Heck, how about if they wear padded undergarments and a belly-squeezing girdle too? I suppose "excessive" deception is a subjective judgement to everyone, but there certainly are bras out there full of wire & padding that can pretty extremely re-shape a woman's form. Please note that in all this I'm not specifically talking about what "Fill My Cup" talks about...he's talking about average women making themselves appear huge. I'm generally turned-off by huge anyway, I'm talking about women that are extremely small who are re-shaping themselves into more average contours. They should accept their body for how it is, present it that way, and be interested in a man who will be happy with them just as they are. Go read the woman who posted on 9/26..."fuck you, I'm a 32A and if you don't already want me for my ass, then we're done anyway. and i don't want you if you want my breasts large. i'd never let you see what i'm hiding - treasure, not lies - anyway." That's an excellent attitude in my book. Be proud of yourself, and say "screw you" to anyone who says you shouldn't be proud of yourself.
--JM
10/05 |
Well said, AZ.
--MW
10/03 |
Ok here is my problem with the padded bra thing. Unless you are literally using the "chicken fillets" a push up bra can only do so much. Like a cup and half max, generally. Typically one is going to bump you up half to one cup size. While this is significant, it isn't extreme. So the girl you thought was a B is an A? You thought a C, just a full B? You aren't looking for a general type of women, you are looking for someone that strictly fits your parameters of physical attractiveness. A parameter that apparently leaves little room for an emotional or intellectual connection. If you have such little attachment to a person that when you take her clothes off you are disappointed she is not exactly as you imagined she would be that is sad. I'm not talking about extreme differences (and by the way big breasts sag, they may be real, but they aren't gonna look as good out of the bra as they do in most of the time) but I like most people have been attracted to people I never thought I would be and you block yourself off because of these really inconsequential things you are going to miss out on a lot.
--AZ
10/02 |
Fill my cup sounds like a whiny creep. As a woman, thanks to locker rooms and beaches, I have seen plenty of women in both dressed and undressed states. Naturally, I don't scrutinize them closely, but aside from full-body tattooing, there are almost never any surprises. Look at her build. Look at her cleavage. Do the breasts seem unusually high and pushed together? Seriously, it's not hard to tell who really has a large chest.
--AE
10/01 |
MW...apparently you paid attention to almost nothing that I wrote. I am not in the same camp as "Fill My Cup"...though neither do I castigate him for his preferences. I especially enjoyed your categorical, personal, inaccurate, and vicious attacks on both of us. I found them to be very persuasive argument. If you're going to combine reasoning (I agreed with some of what you wrote) with vicious attack, why bother posting the reasonable arguments at all? After reading your attacks, your targets are going to completely ignore anything worthwhile you said, and you will have wasted your time attempting to "convince" them. Though, had you bothered to read, you would have noticed that I ALREADY espoused some of the same sentiments you posted.
--JM
09/30 |
AW, while I don't have the fixation that "Fill My Cup" has, I still take issue with your response to him on 2 points. The lesser point, you seem to equate the fact that he really desires specific physical attributes to equal "he's an asshole". That's how he's wired, that's what he wants, so what? Are you equally attracted to bond with a 4'6", 300lb, 21 year old, Asian man as to a 7'6", 200lb, 55 year old, bald black man, or to something in between? No? If you have preferences does that make you an asshole too? More importantly, you say "You can't pre-screen everything about a potential partner"...no, you can't, but can you expect people to be honest? Are you just fine to find out the man you're dating wears a toupee, heel lifts, shoulder padding, & has body implants (some men do get them) to have a more muscular shape? Heck, how about if they wear padded undergarments and a belly-squeezing girdle too. Personally, I'd rather be with people who are confident, secure, and are accepting of their own body.
--JM
09/30 |
I'm writing in response to the "breast man." I think you need to pay more attention. As a proud A Cup, my keen observation skills can help me detect who is frontin and who is for real. A few of my secrets: If you're a size A, no bra is going to be able to create real cleavage no matter what-so look for cleavage. Some cleavage type look may be achieved but it isn't likely that the two boobs will actually touch in the middle. Boobs that are unusually perky that look like they're being forcefully hoisted up and/or in. The more you have to hoist, the less there is to hoist. A visible bra line on the cup. Lots of padded bras are rigidly manufactured with cups that are "freestanding" ie-don't require the boob to give them shape. If her boob isn't filling it out, it could stick out in unnatural looking ways so look out. Let me know how it goes
--MEM
09/29 |
>>> Readers, some more practical suggestions for my tit-loving friend? <<< Here's one -- He, and JM, need to sit down and have a nice long talk with their mothers as to why they were denied breast-feeding at such a young age, causing them to develop these immature fixations. Hey, who doesn't like breasts -- but come on -- is the size REALLY that important? I'll take shape over size ANY DAY. In fact, I'd always rather they be too small than too big, all other things being equal. And how about those "other things" -- is it really possible to be so obsessed with one aspect of a person's body that you get that twisted up over it? You're dating the woman, not the boobs, fellas. Grow up. Or better yet, walk around with your cock size splayed across your t-shirt in giant boldfaced numbers, and then maybe you'll be able to develop a little empathy for these padded-bra wearers. Of course, in your cases, I'm guessing the shirt could also just show a lone hand with a few fingers up and the word "inches" below it...
--MW
09/29 |
It's almost impossible to find bras that aren't padded. This isn't only true for the smaller sizes - a larger friend complained about the same thing at dinner the other night. The problem exists in clothing stores, too: I can't count the number of salespeople who have suggested I stuff so I can "wear certain looks." Practically no one born a size zero is also born with tits. Yet if you are a size zero, only plunging big boob tops are available. Madison Avenue has a fetish for women who look like two apples atop a twig. I refuse to stuff, but still have to settle for "lightly padded." Most people I know give in and buy the padded shit, because manufacturers force it down their throats. We'd all love to find normal bras without the padding.
--fyi
09/29 |
Life is full of uncertainty. You can't pre-screen everything about a potential partner, and you most certainly aren't entitled to know someone's breast size before they decide you are. One might argue that in trying to hide the fact that your interest in a woman is based around her breast size ("so you don't look like an asshole") amounts to false advertising too. PS By the way, yes, there is a way to know whether a bra is a pushup, but as a devoted wearer of them, I'm not telling. ;)
--AW
09/29 |
ok folks - here's another perspective on the padded bra. sure, i love that they make my tits look bigger, but that's not why i started wearing them. i've worked in customer service most of my life. i'm one of those women who's nipples get hard in a soft breeze. and it's uncomfortable for me when i'm trying to sell someone something and all he's doing is staring at my hard nipples. hence, the padded bra. now, most of my bras are padded push up bras. 'cause i spend most of my time at work. but, i've never had any complaints when the bra comes off...
--jmj
09/29 |
I read Reviving Ophelia. For girls that age, I recommend parents buy them "Deal With It!" by the publishers of gURL and "Life is A Movie Starring You" by Jennifer Brandt. I wish I had those two books growing up at that age. Although "Are You There, God?" and my pilfered copy of my parent's Joy Of Sex were pretty good substitutes.
--EB
09/28 |
TW, you're the shit! when i was in the 8th grade i did a book report on reviving ophelia. that book is great.
--kr
09/28 |
EB - I checked out the Emily Yoffe article, and actually found it pretty tame, rather than a rant. I would probably get more worked up if I thought that the so called trend was getting any traction. Girls that age actually have the option to just be kids, and more of them are taking it then you would think if you got all your information from the media. As long as we are drifting off topic, about a decade ago, there was a huge surge of interest in the problems of adolescent girls, per the book, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. Obviously any teenager, male or female, is growing up in a difficult environment. What this is all leading up to is a recent set of articles in The New York Times dealing with the latest trend -- girls/women having problems BECAUSE they are more successful then their male peers. The latest and final straw for me is the Times article about 20 something women having relationship problems because they make more money then guys their age. https://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/fashion/23whopays.html?_r=1&oref=slogin Meanwhile some elite colleges are giving boys what amounts to affirmative action to try to keep the gender ratio close to 50/50. https://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/09/education/09college.html This is, of course, totally off topic. However, there has been so much media attention to the problems of younger women, while at the same time, we seem to have created this cohort of uber women. The 'so what' of this particular rant is that I spent years trying to become more enlightened regarding sexism. But now it seems that, at the exact same time this agenda was being promoted, females have been kicking ass and taking names. And they live about 7 years longer on average. Please just delete this if it is too off topic. I am off to get in touch with my inner caveman
--TW
09/27 |
maybe pre-teen girls are obsessed with their breasts because the media is also obsessed with their breasts? or at least their breasts when they're a little older. not to mention the throngs of preteen boys staring at posters of pam anderson and wishing that the girls in their class were so well endowed. also, the baby phat logo is so totally reminiscent of a pussy! it's a cat shaped like a labia, how much more vaginal can you get?
--kr
09/27 |
REM, perhaps you missed the point, but I was in fact referring partially to your post...it seemed to entirely stem from anger.
--JM
09/27 |
abcd...well, I get to decide if *I* think padded bras are ok or not. Just like *you* get to decide if you think toupees or heel lifts are ok or not (are they?). If you want me to see other perspectives on the issue, fine, but it's not good debate or persuasion approach with anyone to use name-calling, insults, personal attacks, and anger. You don't even know me well enough to make accurate attacks in that regard and all the attacks of me so far in this forum have been so hilariously off-based and unbalanced they have no effect on me. I hope you noticed I haven't responded to anyone with insults or personal attacks, and I certainly could have. No one learns anything when one or both parties are just standing there hurling insults at each other. Anyway, yes, I know people try to exert pressure on women...and on men too. But I still say, you should be trying to turn that equation around. Instead of an "attempt to create proportions that make some women feel more comfortable", I say, screw the messages that say don't be comfortable with who you are. Learn to be comfortable with yourself. A temporary lie (padded bras) will solve nothing. It leaves the insecurity there. Do you even want to attract a guy whose attraction to you is based partially on how large your breasts are when padded? Wouldn't you rather have men that find you sexy as you really are? For really small women...what if after finding out you're really small, he leaves because your body isn't feminine enough (by his standards) to turn on his sexual drive (just like you can't help it if you're not turned-on by shortness, heaviness, skin color, baldness, age, or whatever)? Isn't that going to feel pretty awful? Just accept what you can't change. BTW, there are other options for change besides surgery...build up chest muscles. Or do nothing, I really don't care. You call padding harmless. I call it deception. You call my view self-centered. I say padding is self-centered...it's using deception as a salve to body insecurity. Yes, I know there's pressure. And I do give a break. I don't dump women just because some have used padding. I'm just a bit disappointed in them and think women shouldn't.
--JM
09/27 |
not to intentionally stir up shit [BUT TO STIR UP SHIT], i'm surprised none of y'all got all over my ass for defending limited too. i thought for sure there'd be some dissenters in the bunch. xxoxoxo miss info
--EB
09/27 |
Fill My Cup, I'm not trying to beat you up here or anything, but at age 40, if you can't look at a woman and tell if what she has up top isn't real,real big,real fake or just what you see, then maybe you haven't had very much experience or you just aren't paying attention. I'm 45 so I know what I'm talking about. I am a breast man myself, but I have to like the rest of her too. Do you think to youself "WOW! I really want to date that set of tits" I can't even begin to list the ways to tell, but usually if there is any cleavage showing at all, you should be able to tell right away. A lot of women wear tighter clothes now anyway so it not a math test or anything. "Making out" , are you serious? Finesse , at 40, it should be a way of life for you. dirtwood
--twa
09/27 |
"Wow, so many of you posters seem to be deeply insecure, angry, bitter, judgemental, and resentful." Um, yeah JM, just like you said. Pretty hateful, too.
--REM
09/27 |
"Wow, so many of you posters seem to be deeply insecure, angry, bitter, judgemental, and resentful." Um, yeah JM, just like you said. Pretty hateful, too.
--REM
09/27 |
the overcharged responses probably have to do with the one i initially had when the guy asked miss i about not looking like an asshole. because i can just imagine myself as one of the women who undresses and has to endure the changed expression in this guy's face, voice, hands. and then i can't relate, and i am sorry for the woman who wore the padded bra not because she wants this guy but because, you know, clothes aren't fit - pun, yes - for the flatchested. she's just trying to get along in the world, maybe. NOW, that said, that kind of of situation is one I would never encounter, because, fuck you, I'm a 32A and if you don't already want me for my ass, then we're done anyway. and i don't want you if you want my breasts large. i'd never let you see what i'm hiding - treasure, not lies - anyway.
--
09/26 |
Okay look JM, my point is that you don't get to decide whether padded bras are okay or not. I was trying to help you empathize with what it must feel like to be scrutinized this way and condemned for a harmless attempt to create proportions that make some women feel more comfortable. That you think you have the right to call foul on this, that you think it's about YOU, is the problem. You are not the arbiter of "fairness" or whatever. Give the girls (both kinds) a break. And if people get passionate about your comments, it's because there's a lot of pressure out there, and as easy as you make it sound to say "screw it," that's not the reality. I think your views are self-centered, and I'm trying to get you to see the other side and realize it's not your place to judge.
--abcd
09/26 |
Wow, so many of you posters seem to be deeply insecure, angry, bitter, judgemental, and resentful.
--JM
09/26 |
AS, if you have a dick-size cut-off, work on strategies to deal with it. I can think of a ton, though only you can decide what ones work for your morals and standards. Before the relationship goes too long...ask him his size outright early on? Get into a groping session early on and see what you find? Ask for a photo? Schedule a hot tub date or swimming date, get him a little aroused and see what you see? Let him think at first you're only interested in a short-term physical relationship, sleep together early, then if he measures up, try to convert the relationship to a longer-term, deeper one? "At least males (and gay females, bi's) can get an inkling of someone's breast size, padded bra or whatever." I disagree...a slim, short, small-framed woman can wear a padded bra and you'll have very little inkling of what's under there. Her padded self isn't so large you'll expect shifting & jiggling, so as far as you can tell what you see is approximately real. Not that breast size is the be-all and end-all. I dislike heavily-endowed women anyway (such as you'd see in most Playboy centerfolds), and I've stayed with women that had virtually nothing up top and still found them very sexy...mentally, their bodies, and still enjoyed what they did have on top. I just didn't like the whole deceit factor, which says a lot about her personal confidence & security, her personal character, etc.
--JM
09/26 |
abcd, you didn't read what I wrote. And your anger makes it seem like you hold me responsible for all the messages you are getting that apparently you are unable to stand up to. I'm in favor of people just accepting themselves (or improving themselves through exercise) and then being accepting and unashamed and proud of whatever they are. NOT lying, getting surgery, or covering themselves in sacks of shame. I said I was not in favor of plastic surgery (but I don't hold it against people who make that choice). I said IF you are not ok with your body, conceal your flaws if you feel you must. I suppose I could've clarified that by saying it's better to just either improve your body (exercise) or accept it as you are, I don't care which. Anyway most clothing, men or women, is designed to flatter a bit and conceal a bit, and I'm ok with that. That isn't building a false body, just flattering what's there. A woman is told by messages she must look a certain way? Then she should say "screw you" to those messages and be herself. Men are told they need to be tall, muscular, rich, well-dressed, with a full head of hair and a big dick. Do I, as a man, accept all that I'm told? Nope. Women shouldn't either. I improve myself in the ways that I feel are important, and things I can't change or don't think are important...I ignore. You don't like the messages women receive? Reject them. Responding by lying (tons of padding, girdling, etc) is not the right way. Using lies to deal with insecurities is not the right way. Improve what you feel is desirable & possible to improve and accept the rest. If you can't do that...seek help.
--JM
09/26 |
I bet those "girls that had virtually no breasts" who wore padded bras were deeply grateful that JM condescended to stay with them, notwithstanding their physical and moral shortcomings. He's like a Mother Theresa among the flat-chested.
--REM
09/26 |
JM, you are a colossal dickhead. Your arrogance is stunning. When a woman is born into this age of intense physical scrutiny, she is told by all the images and messages around her that to be worthwhile she needs to look a particular way--a way very, very few women do. She contends with that atmosphere, bearing her self-esteem up against it to the best of her ability over the years. She may, as an alternative to the two options you suggest--baggy clothing or cutting open her flesh to accomodate the insertion of foreign objects--choose garments that give a very mild encouragement to those proportions that make her feel more attractive. SO. THE. FUCK. WHAT. In your next life, may you be born as whichever gender is subject to the most impossible physical standards, and then in a form that is the opposite of whatever is considered beautiful. Then, as you attempt to do a few harmless things to bolster your image of yourself, be railed against by someone who has never been in your shoes, who tells you that along with the insecurities you are already contending with, you should also feel ashamed and guilty of lying and deceiving those around you, and that instead of making low-impact modifications in your dress, you should instead try to camouflage the embarrassment that is your body with loose, amorphous frocks that hide it as best as possible from the rest of the world, or pay exorbitant sums to have a stranger slice your body open and implant fluid-filled bags under your skin. You are an ignorant fool. But I guess, at least, that you aren't hiding that fact, which in a sense makes the world a safer place for those that might otherwise have the bad fortune of sharing themselves with you.
--abcd
09/26 |
JM - Women's clothing tends to fit more tightly and reveal more about body shape/physicalities then men's clothing. I wish men could wear clothing that actually *fits* and shows off their bods without being labeled gay, but that's our lameass world. Maybe padded bras ARE cheating, but it's hard to muster up any tears for y'all. At least males (and gay females, bi's) can get an inkling of someone's breast size, padded bra or whatever. Women have no idea what they're getting in terms of dick dimensions. It's a surprise every time the zipper comes down. Believe me when I say it's important. To some of us, anyway.
--AS
09/26 |
You're 100% wrong here Erin. Padded bras are as wrong, deceptive, and evil as toupees, padded crotches/butts/shoulders, invisible heel lifts, and girdles/corsets. BTW, I also think it's wrong of everyone to jump on Fill My Cup for having his own personal appearance turn-ons. Tell me all you high-and-mighty types, if the INSIDE is the ONLY thing that counts I assume if you find the right spirit you'd be equally turned-on to be life-bonded to anything from a 4'6", 300lb, 21 year old, Asian person to a 7'6", 200lb, 55 year old, bald black person? No? You mean you have preferences? Some things just aren't going to "do it" for you? Well aren't you a shallow scumbag? Anyway, back to padded bras, it's one thing to cover yourself up, outwardly modify yourself, adorn yourself, or permanently modify yourself, it's quite another to completely invisibly make yourself temporarily (& unsustainably) appear other than as you are. A padded bra, toupee, invisible lift, or girdle proclaims something physical about you, and it's a physical thing that is part of powerful attraction preferences, but it proclaims something about you that is not real, unsustainable, and that no one can tell is a lie. It's a lie to proclaim you have big breasts, a full head of hair, are tall, or have a small stomach if that's not true. I could almost forgive a toupee, because a dedicated man could wear it enough that you'd never see him without it, even if you lived with him. At least then it's almost a permanent body change. I've been with short, slim girls that had virtually no breasts...but I couldn't tell that until their shirts came off because their bras re-shaped them significantly. No, with the bra they didn't give the impression of a giant-breasted girl, but she made her breasts large enough to look at least a little proportionate to her frame. And that was wrong. I have stayed with girls that had virtually no breasts...but I didn't like that at the outset I was lied to. If you are not ok with your own body, cover it up, but don't lie about it. Wear loose fitting clothing (not padding or girdles), wear a hat (not toupee), or shoes with heels (not invisible lifts). I don't care if you wear loose clothing, a hat, heels, clothes with a flattering cut, clothes that cover...none of that lies about what's underneath, it just conceals it. And I don't care if you get plastic surgery (though I'm not in favor of it), hair transplants, etc...you have at least then actually changed what you look like. You really do have hair now. Your body really is the shape it appears to be. But no padded bras.
--JM
09/26 |
That would have to be one awfully thick padded bra to confuse smaller breasts with big ones, wouldn't it? I mean, really quite thick. Is he a dick? I think that's a rather judgemental presumption; everyone has his or her turn-ons. Some times its big breasts, small ones, long legs, long hair, blond hair, bigger muscles, smaller frame, etc. If he were to stuff a big sock down his pants and go out this friday and eventually hookup with a girl that likes big packages, would he still be considered a big dick? Probably according to some of you. So he isn't going to win in either scenario. Padded bras are rather deceitful. It's showing more when there isn't any. The same would be true for a guy that goes out and spends a lot of money on a girl to impress, and then she finds out he's really broke most of the time. As for holding on, I find it harsh to call the guy sleazy. Erin seems rather biased in this case. So boy meets girl in a party, both get drunk, they like each other, fool around, have sex. Is he supposed to stop in the heat of the moment and tell her, "Hey baby, but I just want you to be okay with the fact that I'm going away soon." It's not like he was getting into a heavy relationship and then disappeared without a word after a month. One can't have a one night stand and expect repeats. One has to know what he is getting into.
--bpl
09/26 |
"Fill My Cup" should be able to discern which are real and which are fake if he is that old and has been around or looked at porn. The jiggle factor. Something rings untrue or he is totally oblivious before he jumps in. P.S. I really am a 32J, (you can buy that size bras, some pretty ones too, online at www.figleaves.com) and I know men can tell that I am real. Some walk up and say so to me...kind of creepy and bold, but honest. The ones who walk up to merely converse than then start staring...eh...pervs. But I am married anyhow. Hell, I can tell which are real and which are fake.
--ckb
09/26 |
I think it's *possible* to change after 40 (heaven knows I did), but Fill My Cup clearly doesn't want to, and it's a fool's errand to try to convince him, but hey, I've been a fool before, so here's my spiel. Hey, Dickhead: Be grateful for any woman who gives you a part of herself intimately, whether it's swing-from-the-chandelier sex to a warm kiss goodnight. I've historically been a "breast man," too, but in just the last year, I've been with women from A to G cup-sized breasts (my little joke is that I've been celebrating the 75th anniversary of the IND subway line that way, but I digress), some of whom wore padded or push-up bras. I feel lucky to have been with each and every one of them (and I still get that teen-age thrill of popping the hooks and wriggling them free of the garment), regardless of how the relationship ultimately turned out. If only big breasts can make your "cock jump," then you're not interested in women as women, but only as women as body parts. As long as you look at women this way, you deserve any "disappointment" you get -- especially if you view the desire of a small-breasted woman to be intimate you to be "disappointing." Your karmic punishment should be that you are reduced to wanking to the surgical monstrosities on the Robin Byrd reruns every night.
--REM
09/26 |
i usually agree with your advice and i truly love your column. however, i'm not sure your advice to the freshman girl was right on. if the guy is being distant he probably suspects that she likes him and is into him and he just sees her as someone he had sex with. if she keeps calling him she might wind up more hurt. i agree with you that she might be into him becuase she's feeling vulnerable and wants someone to hold onto, even if it's kind of a fantasy of what she wants him to be. i'm not say8ing not to call him ever, but just not so much. and if he doesn't call that she should probably hold off on calling for a while. maybe i'm wrong but guys who are distant almost from the start don't all of a sudden become less so because a girl with whom he slept with once is calling him a lot. anyway, good luck in school... and there are plenty of guys out there who want to stick around and i'm sure you'll meet 'em : )
--nm
09/26 |
Fill My Cup sounds like a real dick. He should just go buy a Real Doll, because it doesn't sound like he is looking for depth (or a pulse) in a woman. I'm putting on by most heavily-padded bra right now just out of spite.
--SM
09/26 |
Is Fill My Cup positive he's not feeling up chicks wearing t-shirt bras? You know those bras, the ones with the thin layer of foam for women who are embarassed by their nipples?
--ID
09/26 |
A long-distance relationship is hard enough when you've been committed to the guy for a while. After just a one-night stand, forget it. Consider him a casual lay when convenient, because it's not going to turn into anything more than that, unless you wait until he's out of school, and you just coincidentally wind up in the same city, and you both decide to pick up where you left off. I wouldn't save myself for that possibility for that if I were you. If it happens, it happens, but for now, write off any long term hopes.
--JCF
09/26 |
Holding On... It's a little late to play hard to get. You've already fucked him, and are calling and emailing him. If you want a replay of the one night stand, then a weekend visit to his college town might just work. For this to work, you really have to have a good reason to be there - other than him. Then, let him know you are going to be in town, suggest coffee, and see if the problem is just geography. If you want more -- like, say, a relationship, then you have to quit chasing him. But if he was really into it, being a guy, he would have already been back for more. Time to cut your losses. There is also the chance that indifference will revive his interest.
--TW
09/26 |
Boob Guy: I'm having a hard time believing you are really having such a difficult time with trick bras. An experienced boob guy should be able to figure things out with little more than a glance. Maybe you could be fooled once in a while. Expecially if you handicap yourself with beer goggles. Personally, I would prefer a wonder bra to implants any time. Just pay attention.
--TW
09/26 |
fill my cup already looks like an asshole. not much advice that can help here.
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09/26 |
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