Iram, 37

What do you do?
I work in finance.

Has that ever gotten you laid?
Absolutely. You know, you run into girls who are looking more for resumes than they are for the actual package behind it. If the resume plays, the resume plays. When you say "finance," girls have this idea that anyone who works in finance obviously makes millions of dollars. I don't, but...

But you let them think you do.
It costs me fifty bucks at a bar to pretend I'm something I'm not. I play the character.

Do you feel it's important to pay on the first date?
I think it's mandatory, isn't it?

No, it's not mandatory, but it's appreciated.
This is my theory: whoever asks whoever out, they should pay.

How many times have you been asked out on a first date by a girl?
A couple times. It was quite flattering to me. I was very excited about the moment.

Are you single right now or in a relationship?
I am single right now.

How long have you been single for?
Thirty-seven years.

Seriously, when was your last relationship?
Two-and-a-half years ago.

What kind of sexual experiences have you had in the past two-and-a-half years?
Are we talking romantic or are we talking skanky?

Anything you want to talk about.
I'm not that kind of girl. I don't just say these sorts of things!

You must have some crazy escapades being single and in New York for two years.
I went to college with this girl, and she got married, moved to Jersey, settled down, lived the happy life. Quiet, relaxed. Three years later, the bottom falls out, she gets divorced, moves back to the city. Calls me up. Haven't seen her in forever, let's catch up. So we go out to a bar, and started hanging out, having a good time. We go out for a cigarette. She's just divorced so she's on the prowl, hardcore. I said, "Listen, let's smoke a bowl back at my place, chill out, no big deal..."

So it was your idea?
Well, she was a friend of mine. It had no feeling of romance. So anyway, we're getting ready to leave and she goes, "Oh, this is some chick I met, she's coming with us." So we come back to her place instead, I go to the bathroom, I come back, the two of them are already topless, they're in bed, going at it. I wasn't sure what was going on. I wasn't sure if this was like double dutch, where you jump in. So I jump in, but it's intimidating, especially when the two of them are into each other and I'm kind of the third wheel. When I tried to help out, I got the shove.

What did you try that got you the shove?
They actually said, "Do you mind if we have a moment together?"

You got the bench.
What I found funny was that my friend wasn't the least bit lesbian or anything. But afterward, she said, "I felt comfortable with you. I could let my guard down and do whatever I wanted with you there." And I was like, bravo, girl. I watched quite a bit.

So they asked to have a private moment but you were still in the room?
It was a studio. There wasn't anywhere else to go.

Did their "private moment" also work out for you?
Yeah, it did. There was a shower. When you get dirty, you gotta wash up.

That was a really great story. Thank you.
Didn't know I was going to share that.

 

Jen, 32

What is your name and what do you do?
My name is Jen and I'm a fundraiser.

Has that ever gotten you laid?
I don't think so. Going to Columbia gets me laid sometimes. I'm a graduate student.

How does that get you laid?
Guys just assume I'm smart, like I know what I'm doing. I'm like, "no."

Do you not know what you're doing?
In life?

Or in the bedroom, whatever.
I know what I'm doing in the bedroom. In life, not so much.

When did you lose your virginity?
Fifteen.

What was that experience like for you?
I was a freshman in high school. It was super embarrassing. I was a cheerleader and I slept with the captain of the football team... on his water bed.

Are you single or in a relationship right now?
I'm single, except for this casual thing.

How long as this casual thing been going on for?
Three years. Pretty consistent. We're best friends. His ex-girlfriend was one of my roommates in college. We weren't close. So we met through her, and became really great friends. They were already falling apart. We slept together one Super Bowl Sunday and it's never really stopped. They went through their breakup, she moved out.

How do you navigate if it's been on and off for three years? How do feelings not get hurt?
Well, they do. We fight all the time.

So you're like a couple, you just don't call each other boyfriend and girlfriend.
No.

Are you allowed to sleep with other people?
Yes.

And your feelings don't get hurt by that?
I go through periods where I just don't want to hear about it, which I'm sure sounds ridiculous. He's just not in a place where he's ready to chill out.

So you're going to stick it out with him, is that the idea?
I tell him all the time, "We have each other. I love you," but it's both of us. We're just both not in a place to settle down.

So you sleep with other guys too?
Yes.

Are you happy with the arrangement you have or would change it?
I'm happy with it. I would only want it to change if he changed.

So you don't want to be the one to initiate the change?
No, I want him to do it on his own.

Do you think this guy is a soulmate?
He's definitely my best friend. We talk four times a day, we see each other all the time. He's just so afraid of a girlfriend or a wife, he won't...

Why do you think that is?
Deep down, I think he's insecure and he likes having his options open because he likes the attention from different women. I think he feels bad a lot. I do. I feel bad sometimes.

Are you using protection?
Honestly, no. But we have an agreement that we do with other people. And I know I do, and I'm fairly certain he does.

Do you think you're kind of holding out for him a little?
Yeah.

 

Mo, 35

What do you do?
I'm a TV and film producer.

Has that ever gotten you laid?
Yes. It's sort of a stereotypical story. I was working late in the office with a girl, and we were flirting back and forth, and one night turned into two hours of work, three hours of work, and we ended up fucking in the office and then went to her place.  The next day, we came back into the office and acted like nothing had happened, which I was extremely happy about because her boyfriend was my boss.

No! Were you shitting yourself?
No, it's probably not the right thing to do, but I didn't shit myself. We never hinted at anything. There was never a look, a glance, a text. Nothing.

Did you find that to be hot?
Yeah, it was hot. Doing it in the office is always hot.

Okay, give us the details.
It was ten o'clock at night and I pulled this move where I walked over to her and leaned in really close to show her something, and we looked at each other and then I just dove in. I put her up on the desk, pulled her skirt up, and pushed her thong to the side.

Wow. So are you in a relationship now?
No.

When's the last time you got laid?
Two months ago.

Someone you were dating? One-night stand?
It was more like a fourteen-night stand.

If you were in a relationship, how often would you want to be getting laid?
At least six times a week. But I'm a sexual person. Every relationship I've been in, I can honestly tell you I average about five times a week.

What's the longest relationship you've been in?
Three years. It just didn't work out, and I'll leave it at that because she might read this.

She's a cool girl?
No, she's not a cool girl. You can quote me on that.

Interviews and photography by Lina Canney and Libby Rumelt.