Brian on jeggings, Christian Dior, and stealing clothes from anti-Semites
By Kelly BourdetOct 26th, 2010 · 2:27 pmComments (27)What's your name and what do you do?
I'm Brian Orce, and I’m Head of Post at VBS.TV.
What are you wearing?
Levi's jeans, Ralph Lauren socks, J. Crew shirt, vintage shoes, and a Brooks Brothers vest.
What are some articles of clothing that you consider essential?
I have a favorite blazer that I got from my brother, and some really worn T-shirts (I have one with Steve Dallas from Bloom County on it — and I’ve been asked if that’s supposed to be me on the shirt — amazing compliment). I only have three suits, but they’re custom (since I don’t have a lot of suit occasions). I really like my skinny black Christian Dior tie and I’m a sunglass fanatic. Oh, I also have a Joseph Abboud blazer I stole from some guy at a bar who dropped an anti-Semitic comment, so that has sentimental value.
If you're sizing up a girl, what are some thing you really like?
The heels with red soles (Louboutins?), scarves, brighter colors or at least some contrast. A dark bra under a light or threadbare shirt is a pretty obvious move, but it works. I know it’s cheesy, but shiny leggings and chokers are kind of a weakness. Oh, and bangs.
What are some things that are absolute dealbreakers?
I have tons. Jeggings, crocks, I don’t like moccasins or flats that are barely even shoes. I'm not a huge fan of jeans or black pants on girls; they just feel kind of lazy.. Frilly or lacy bras are kind of annoying; they make me think of crown molding in a prewar apartment. Hats can be hit or miss. Gigantic purses, clunky jewelry, those big, bug-eyed sunglasses everyone’s wearing, those Roman-gladiator sandals, headbands (especially those super-narrow ones), those fake belts that are like twelve connected shields — and then there are a lot of color combos that set me off… I could go on and on.
If you were going out, trying to get laid, what would you wear?
I don’t want to say too much because then the internet’s going to know when I’m trying to get creepy, but I’d say my Dior tie, something with a noticeable color, maybe purple. Pink’s gotten played out and yellow can be a bit much — unless you’re at like a yacht club or a polo match (which can be amazing). Something where it’s clear some effort went into it, but not too much. It shouldn't be that obvious that I’m attention-whoring.
What do you think makes women attracted to you?
As cliché as it sounds, confidence. Clothes can help or hurt, but really you can kill it dressed like a homeless person or in a slick-ass suit. And I have my ups and downs. The nights you go out without women on your mind are always the nights where you end up in dozens of conversations.
If you were to go home with a girl, what's something that, if you saw it in her apartment, would make you turn around and leave?
If it’s messy, that’s a huge turnoff. Posters for shitty movies or bands... maybe a cross? Frankly, if she’s managed to get me back there, it’d have to be something major to get me out of there. I’ve looked past jeggings, messy rooms, Creed posters — you name it.
Commentarium (27 Comments)
this guy sounds like a huge judgmental asshole...and it is making me want to have sex with him
i would share my briefcase with this guy
he's not my fucking friend...
WHAT u fucking....
ill see u boys out outback tonight!
this is more fun than telephone
ASL for life
ASL for life
Jesus Christ...What a fucking tool.
this guy and his outfit are giving me the creeps. do not want.
God, just reading about this guy is exhausting. I can't imagine what it's like to hang out with him.
Totally agree. I felt more and more exhausted with each answer.
I don't believe this guy actually LIKES girls...
This guy has a lot of dealbreakers. At least now I know about "jeggings", and that I should avoid them if I want to snag a skinny Dior tie guy.
WTF is a jegging? Is it some kind of new name for a sex act I've missed from not reading every Dan Savage column?
He's hot, confident, and has style. I'm down.
I think he is adorable... :-) but I like jeans and a t shirt......
I'm gonna go ahead and second motoj's comment.
On the plus side ... when God sends the floods, his jeans will be just fine.
Everything's coming up Millhouse!
I like that he considers jeans or black pants lazy on girls, and thats unnattractive, but he's wearing black pants. So being a lazy guy is just fine, but a girl wearing jeans is unacceptable. Hyprocrite! I thought he was adorable, until I read his comments. Just another pretentious asshole.
......we were matched up on the cupid
my dealbreaker: a guy who has such a long list of dealbreakers when it comes to how a girl should dress.
tdc: how meta!
Yikes! That huge list of dealbreakers is long enough to scare anyone away! Too anal for my taste... Oh and I fucking hate that shade of green on his socks.
the dealbreaker's a dealbreaker. i think it depends on who wears it. some people actually look good with sunglasses because of the shape of their faces and huge purses are actually functional.
anyways, i've never seen or heard of you before so i'd assume you're gay. that entire outfit is gay.
i think this guy is any arrogant prick, and he will probably die alone and be partially eaten by his many, many cats. Poor kitties. I 'd feel sorry for the cats.
Aw, I slept with this guy... pretty recently. He's actually pretty alright. She asked for a list of deal breakers and she got it! I was rocking 2 deal breakers! Haha.
I wonder how often he reads the comments.