Links: What men say to themselves when they're alone, and the FBI's files on ODB

This dude disputes this lady's claim that men can't be alone for more than three months. He does so by quoting his thoughts when he is alone, including, "I'm Batman," and, "I am a handsome, intelligent man and I deserve the best, including breadsticks." (Calling her New York Times article "a first-person essay/girl power pep talk/MFA creative non-fiction assignment" might've been overly harsh, though.)

The Daily Beast compiled the eight craziest finds from Ol' Dirty Bastard's recently released FBI files. What have we learned? That he (and the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan) being nothin' to fuck wit may be the understatement of the century.

A-C-C-U-R-A-T-E! SNL's Stefon has a Yelp page and now I know which of New York's hottest clubs I'm hitting up tonight.

The Oscar race is shaping up to be a lot like the Republican primary. Although I don't know if I agree completely with the Mitt Romney-The Artist parallel, because there's no way Mitt Romney isn't a robot, and the star of the The Artist, Jean Dujardin, is one of the most animated humans I've witnessed onscreen.

The seven jerks you meet at every gym: yet another reason why I don't exercise. Now I kind of want to go to a gym and be all of the things the Cracked list warns you against. You know, for fun.