Female • 20 years old • Europe
He was a dreadful poser. The first time I saw him at the local alt.gothic club, he and his best friend were wearing dinner jackets, which was extravagant even for the extravagant standards of the venue. He made a beeline to me at the end of the evening and said, "May I take you home?" Totally unprepared, little virgin me mumbled, "Oh, no need, thanks." He left, and I spent the next several months thinking, "stupidstupidSTUPIDstupid little girl."
Months later it was summer, and he appeared again, this time wearing all white (upping the "poser" ante in a gothic club). I acted fast. We started talking about preposterous things: artistic photography, books, exoterism, the Golden Dawn, Aleister Crowley, Chinese alchemy.
Illustration by Thomas Pitilli |
But my brain didn't scream, "Douchebag!" It screamed, "I will give my virginity to you because of your long fingers and your high cheekbones and your gray eyes and your beautiful voice." At the end of the evening, he said he'd love to take some "artistic pics" of me, and we could meet the following day at his place. Didn't even kiss me goodnight.
At the appointed hour in the afternoon I rang his bell. He came to open the door wearing an Indonesian man's sarong and a huge Egyptian necklace, eyes heavy with eyeliner. I think he took the fact that I didn't laugh in his face as a sure sign I was going for it (and I so was, after looking at his tiny waist and lean, martial-arts physique). The pics of me never happened. First, he challenged me to a chess game, which I obviously lost. Then, as I was nursing a cold and my voice had dropped many tones, he declared my new lower, nearly masculine voice very sexy, and made me read pages from fave books (including Sade). By that time we were on his Japanese futon. Although he wasn't trying anything overtly sexual, during the hours spent reading we'd gotten closer on the bed, so much that he was holding me in his arms.
Then, while I was reading, he suddenly whispered in my ear, "So, how would you define our relationship?"
"Well, we will definitely be friends," I stammered.
"Friendship has a grayish hue," he declared. At that point I was a bit tired of his posing, and said, "Okay, I think the situation speaks for itself," and pointed to the fact we were in bed and snuggling. Then he kissed me. Finally. A slightly bitter taste I still remember.
A few hours of marvellously slow and decadent sex later, around dawn, he skillfully took my virginity, and I basically spent the next four months in that bed. When he dumped me, I spent two years with his equally pretentious best friend. And after fifteen years, I still am a sucker for dreadful posers. n°
We're looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email with 300-800 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.
Previous First Times
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Female • 16 years old • South Africa
"They wanted to warn me..."
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Female • 17 years old • Los Angeles
"Under false pretenses, three-thousand miles away from home..."
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Male • 18 years old • National Park
"I was working at a national park during the summer..."
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Female • 17 years old • Econo Lodge
"The plan relied heavily on friends who had the means to rent a room at the local Econo Lodge..."
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Female • 18 years old • Canada
"He was pretty much the coolest guy ever..."
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Female • 16 years old • Acworth
"My next-door neighbor and I played pool for 'points' in high school..."
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Female • 19 years old • Berkeley
"My legs shook with excitement and nervousness..."
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Male • 19 years old • Brooklyn, NY
"I was born and raised into a Hasidic community..."
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Female • 16 years old • Woods behind Papa Playground
"We'd spent plenty of time in the woods behind the playground..."
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Female • 22 years old • Dallas, TX
"I was partying with undergrads, and getting drunk was the only fun I felt like having..."
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Female • 17 years old • Mobile, AL
"In southern Alabama, schools teach abstinence..."
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Female • 19 years old • Salt Lake City, UT
"I was in my confused am-I-a-lesbian phase..."
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Female • 16 years old • Austin, TX
"I didn't have any friends — just one acquaintance from orientation..."
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Male • 22 years old • North Carolina
"My wife and I were both virgins when we got engaged at age twenty-two..."
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Male • 18 years old • Suburbs of Philadelphia
"I was the only person who'd ever befriend her before trying to get her into bed..."
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Female • 17 years old • Canada
"It wasn't planned out — nothing was planned out that summer..."
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Female • 21 years old • Syracuse
"At age twenty-one, I set my sights on a six-foot-five-inch ogre..."
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Female • 17 years old • Covina
"In the dark, I listened to his heartbeat..."
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Male • 16 years old • Houston
"The first time we went out ended in handcuffs..."
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Female • 21 years old • Vienna
"I remember the zip of the door, and our naked dash across the dark campground to his tent..."
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Female • 20 years old • Philadelphia
"We wandered around West Philly in the rain, looking for a good place..."
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Female • 19 years old • Riverside
"My statement was met with some applause and a toast, and the mission was on..."
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Female • 15 years old • Ireland
"I was surprisingly adventurous, and he was surprisingly shy..."
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Female • 18 years old • Wongaling Beach, Australia
"I was just discovering this power I had..."
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Female • 15 years old • Vancouver, Canada
"Being a small-town fat girl with mental problems didn't leave me with tremendouslsy high self-esteem..."
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Female • 16 years old • New York
"I looked down, and abruptly stopped laughing..."
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Female • 16 years old • Pittsburgh
"I showcased my lust in my journal; every detail was documented..."
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Female • 17 years old • Canada
"For the first week of camp, he came up to me every night at the end of our shift..."
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Female • 17 years old • Tacoma, Washington
"I think about him even thirty years later..."
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Female • 17 years old • Virginia
"He was the lead singer in a band about to make it any moment..."
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Female • 16 years old • Connecticut
"I'm twenty-two now, and I'm only just starting to accept what happened..."
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Female • 20 years old • Europe
"He came to open the door wearing a sarong, eyes heavy with eyeliner..."
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Female • 21 years old • South Florida
"I had absolutely no intention of leaving college a virgin..."
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Male • 16 years old • North Wales
"I attempted to sound casual and instead emitted something of a squeak..."
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Male • 16 years old • South of France
"Come on then, are we going to shag or what?"
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Female • 16 years old • Iowa
"He didn't go to my school, and he was cute..."
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Male • 17 years old • Massachusetts
"Where this 'expertise' came from, considering I'd never kissed a girl, I don't really know..."
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Male • 23 years old • Tohoku, Japan
"The next day, she called me three times and I was too sketched out to pick up..."
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Female • 17 years old • Pennsylvania
"I zeroed my sights on a bassist..."
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Male • 17 years old • Illinois
"My virginity was auctioned off..."
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