My First Time, By You - hooksexup.com

Female • 16 years old • South Africa

I was on a trip with my family. We rented a van with a tent on the top. We stayed in a quite big city for a few days. On the first evening I went out of the van and straight to a supermarket. There was a boy who was speaking Italian on the phone, so I was interested. He turned out to be an exchange student staying in South Africa for seven months. He asked me out for the next night.

To persuade my parents to let me go was not that easy but finally I made it. We went to a cute Irish pub and drank Guinness there. We talked about life, school, differences between Europe and South Africa, and so on. In the middle of the night, we decided to dance to the live band. Somehow — we were both a little bit drunk — we started kissing and then went out into the freezing-cold night together. But I couldn't take him to our van, so we didn't go further.

Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

Two nights later we met again, this time in a club. There was good music and we started kissing soon. We both knew that this would lead us somewhere but at this time we didn't know where. We met another girl who was also an exchange student in the city and they both knew each other quite well. She told us that she was living in a hotel; her host family didn't like it when she came home late, so she always booked a room when she went out. The boy and I decided to go with her because the club was almost empty.

As soon as we lay down, we pulled off our clothes. It happened like it was the most normal thing in the world, and this night it was, for us. He was careful with me and he kept asking me if I felt good. I didn't care about anything else that night.

The next day I met with many of the exchange students, twelve people from all over the world. We just sat in a nice coffeeshop and talked. Suprisingly, everybody knew about the last night. Later some girls talked to me in privacy. They wanted to warn me — they said the boy just played with every girl and almost every girl here slept with him. I was disappointed, so I just said I didn't care.

Later I found out that he really was a douchebag. But I didn't have time to care: the next morning, my family and I left. We're still writing over MSN and he's back in Italy now. He keeps saying to me that I am that special girl who changed his life and that he is serious. I still don't believe him but now he wants to visit me. I will see where this will lead us.

We're looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email with 300-800 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.

18 Comments

I'd give him a chance, doesn't sound like he has personally given you any reason to doubt him, and girls can be jealous bitches sometimes!

ROB commented on 04/06

Listen to what others say and take it into consideration. A short lived love burns hottest, and the flame he once was may not last as long as you wish. Best to keep him in the past and move on. But that is just me. Sweet story otherwise, meeting and falling all within the space of a few days. I wish for something like this one day, in another country mind you. Doing so in the states does not seem as exotic somehow.

RB commented on 04/06

"Later I found out he was a douchebag..." Don't do it. Don't let him come visit. He made you feel disappointed after sleeping with him for the first time. Sadly, I think this is the story of the world. Btw, I really like the writing on your story.

Dan commented on 04/06

There is nothing good coming from this guy/interaction. Unless you want to relive some mediocre dicking.

Bob commented on 04/06

Sounds like good, normal high school fun. So they didn't get married? Let's not worry about it. Nobody gets her heart "broken" by someone she knows for 72 hours.

TFM commented on 04/06

@TFM you've obviously never been a 16 year old girl. Those hearts break like twigs.

:) commented on 04/06

hah, nessuno italiano! minchia! he's italian, and he's trying to ensnare you. typical behavior; and all girls fall for it...

jay commented on 04/06

Yeah, I'd let it stay in the past and just be a really awesome story. And those girls were probably telling the truth.

alr commented on 04/06

I'm telling you all. Pay attention. No mater the age, girls, women, whatever. They eventually use the word "douchebag" to describe guys who they sleep with. It doesn't matter that no promises were asked for or made. A guy is always a "douchebag" when its over.

Paul commented on 04/06

just like a girl is always a "slut" according to the guy when it's over

ak commented on 04/06

Ouch Paul, did that hurt? :P

Cin commented on 04/06

It's not clear here how long ago this happened, but it seems to be recently, and that creeps me out a bit... It's one thing to have adults sharing their reminiscences of teenage trysts, seasoned by adult retrospect, but something seems exploitive about having CURRENT underage kids publishing the stories about their freshly-lost virginities.

C commented on 04/06

The "freezing cold night" in South Africa? You clearly have never actually experienced freezing cold.

Rose commented on 04/06

Alpha man always gets the girl, no matter how big a "douchebag" he is/was/will be. The other girls "warning" actually boosts his value more, the fact that he got to sleep with all of them is testament to his greatness. We should all learn from him.

ROD commented on 04/06

Girls are dum.

PO commented on 04/07

You know there is no evidence in this story other than random teenage gossip that the dude is a dick. If he was a total douchebag he probably wouldn't still be staying in contact with her. She really has nothing to lose by seeing him again and seeing what happens. Maybe he did bang a bunch of girls before he met her. Maybe she is different in his eyes. Maybe not, but he was a gentle lover, took her out twice and is trying to initiate a relationship. A 16 year old could do a lot worse.

Bart commented on 04/07

@PO maybe you should learn how to spell dumb.

ap commented on 04/08

If he's a douchebag, why do you want to see him again?

rem commented on 04/08

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