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The Greatest Voicemail in the History of Mankind

By Brian Fairbanks on Jul 24th, 2009  |  Comments (24)

crazy-man

Of all the many glorious cultural artifacts we've shared with you, this may be one of the best ever. Seriously.

A set of voice mails left by the craziest "smooth talker" of all time, presented without comment. They're that incredible.

Reactions from your other Scanners while listening to this madness:

-30 seconds in: WOW.

-Listening to it now. Holy shit!

-i look like this

( : 0

What's sad is that even if it's fake, it's still not far off from what the second-worst probably is. Direct from the goofy-accented town of Toronto, Canada, it's the great Dimitri:

Blank

Via.

Comments ( 24 )

The frightened and confused look on the kid's face just adds to the power of this already amazing photo. I wonder if he's the dude's son.
nab commented on Jul 24 09 at 10:20 am
Nothing is more attractive than an ultimatum!
Bee commented on Jul 24 09 at 12:23 pm
This is old, but wonderful. I still can't believe that this really happened.
dailyahole commented on Jul 24 09 at 12:35 pm
As far as I know this guy was a doctor but struck off for inappropriate behaviour. Total perv. You should see his website and the 'notices' he gives women when they turn him down. Sad and kind of scary that men like this even exist.
plentyspace commented on Jul 24 09 at 12:41 pm
"If you're not psychologically normal, I'm not interested." Dude's a miscegenist!
Virginia commented on Jul 24 09 at 12:46 pm
there was an article written about this guy. he's for real.
duder commented on Jul 24 09 at 2:14 pm
Love this, so elegant. Haven't heard from Demitri in a long time.
angela commented on Jul 24 09 at 2:22 pm
I visited this great man's web site. I now declare Dimitri The Lover to be THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD !!!!!!!!!!!
partyinmypants commented on Jul 25 09 at 6:06 pm
funniest thing ever.
mirywhitehill commented on Jul 26 09 at 5:47 pm
This is exactly what Dimitri The Lover was accused of as a doctor (from the web site for his licensing body): "During a professional visit to the first female complainant, Dr. Dimitri made comments to the effect that he would like to get to know her better, that sex was fun and that he would call her later about getting together for a drink. He also pulled her to him and kissed her on the neck. The second complainant was visited in her home and, following a clinical evaluation, was asked about her sex life, present commitments and past involvements with married men. Dr. Dimitri then discussed his unsatisfactory sexual relationship with his wife and asked the patient to date him or to become involved in a sexual relationship with him. She declined both requests. Upon leaving, he hugged and kissed her and suggested that she should reconsider her decision." Also, no convictions. I read the piece above. Obviously these people hate him. Though, I LOVED the recruitment flyer!!!
Pseudo Alias commented on Jul 27 09 at 9:05 am
I just read on another blog that the flyer was taken down due to a threatened law suit by Dimitri The Lover. He considered it a "private correspondence" between himself and the woman he handed it to. I went to the cached page ... 8,500 views of the Flickr image in just over 2 weeks before being taken down is quite impressive. To re-interate Donny Douchetastic's request (love that name BTW), does anyone have an ENLARGED version of that flyer?
Johnny Cockrane commented on Jul 27 09 at 2:58 pm
If you print out the flyer from the cached page and read it, it is all very legible except the last line. It took 5 of us some time, but we figured it out. Basically, he says "For the love of God woman!" further up, with the word God having an (R) beside it. The last line, in fine print, refers to the (R) and reads: "Love of God" is just an expression. "Go" is a trademark of ignorance. there is not, never was, nor ever will be a "God".
Donny Douchetastic commented on Jul 27 09 at 3:07 pm
typo, "Go" should read "God". sorry guys!
Donny Douchetastic commented on Jul 27 09 at 3:20 pm
"Believe it or not, Im a great catch .... there is nothing wrong with me" "Maybe you have issues....?" WOW! What a D-bag! LOL.
Jenny commented on Aug 02 09 at 9:40 pm
wow...he sounds like a TED BUNDY type..ewwww
rebecca commented on Sep 11 09 at 2:23 pm
I feel like if I got that flyer I would be GRATEFUL. How asinine & delusional!
staramour commented on Sep 19 09 at 10:31 am
Oh My God!!! I am so fucking sane. Thanks so much for sharing this.
VanGogh commented on Oct 01 09 at 5:01 pm
is this for real!!!??
bm commented on Oct 16 09 at 12:46 am
Why is it that women are considered "smart" for feeling threatened by a strong man but men are considered weak, dumb and insecure for feeling threatened by a strong woman? Is it really okay for women to be misandrists (irrational hatred of men) but NOT okay for men to be misoginists? I personally like women in general the same way I like the government: There are plenty of good ones that don't get attention because of the few bad apples that do. I have to admit, however, that if I meet a FEMALE chauvenist pig I can't resist the urge to counter that by being the biggest MALE chauvenist pig I can muster. In reality I'm not a chauvenist but sometimes you have to speak the other persons language in order to make sure you're heard. If I have to be a male pig in order to get through to a female pig then so be it. She really has no basis for complaining since all I'm doing is mirroring her behavior. It's called beating them at their own game. Plenty of people from both genders think they're Gods' gift to the world. Hopefully we will all EVOLVE beyond self-importance eventually.
N.Shackelford commented on Oct 25 09 at 12:18 pm
This is horrifying. The only reason she wouldn't call him is if she was abused, has an anxiety issues or her mother had cancer? I don't think he's "psychologically normal" as he puts it.
zzzt commented on Nov 05 09 at 9:36 am
omgggggg I wish there were more!
AK commented on Jan 18 10 at 3:56 am
This guy is retarded... abused in your childhood? Your mother might be going through chemotherapy? No, psychologically normal people do not say stuff like that.
Robotronik commented on Jan 19 10 at 10:31 pm
this guy totally shames greek people. =/
awkward commented on Feb 07 10 at 4:44 am
Sounds gay
commented on Feb 19 10 at 1:51 pm

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