Jessica Simpson Has Learned Nothing From Her Celebrity Breakups

Jessica Simpson is this month's Allure cover girl, and she's looking as shapely as ever (in a good way, obviously.) But for the first time ever, people are skipping the slideshows and photo spreads to go directly to the interview, where the actress-singer responds to the John Mayer controversy.

Here are all the excerpts I was able to dig up -- add more in the comments (real or imaginary), if you like.

On sex scenes: "I will never do nudity... I don't care if I frickin' could get an Oscar for it, I'm not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me. I don't think people deserve to see what's under my clothing. That's only for my next husband--ha-ha-ha."

Her only response to the John Mayer "Jessica Simpson is crazy in bed" controversy: "He didn't make me go brunette! John doesn't get credit for making me brunette. He'd like to think so, but he doesn't deserve the credit."

On getting older: "I never really thought, growing up, what am I gonna be like when I'm 30? I just kind of thought I had it figured out: I'm going to be this great pop star, have my songs on the radio, be married, and have babies. . . But things can be taken away from you. A song can not be played on the radio. An album can not work."

On her breakup with Tony Romo: "I'm still a fan. I'm a huge fan. I wear my gear, and I cheer Tony on. You know, I talked to Tony today. None of my breakups, none of it's been bitter."

On rumors of her bonking Billy Corgan: "I'm on my own, and it's nice."

On what she's learned from her celebrity breakups: "Nothing."

On why you might actually get in her pants: "I don't even have a type! I don't have a physical type. I have an emotional type."

On her weight: "When I walk through an airport and people go, 'You're not fat!' I'm like, 'Thanks. That's great. Good to know I'm not fat today! Thank you!'" [Allure]

I hate to say it, but I have more sympathy for this woman every day... especially since I never have to listen to her or any other pop musician.

Via Allure.