There was a guy on Hooksexup that checked out my profile every once in a while. He had a sly, somewhat smug grin on his face which didn't appeal to me, but he was good looking so, the first time he viewed me, I decided to read his profile.

Most of it was reasonably engaging, then I read "sex is sexy, rough sex is sexier". OK, whatever floats his boat.

But, then there was an entire paragraph devoted to ass play. How it's his thing. He has tried to do without it and simply can't and he is "dominant and prefers anal and thought it better to get it out in the open."

My first thought, well image, was that of an open ass in the open air. A la you porn (why is a gaping ass hole considered sexy? Is it just me that doesn't get it??)

Then I thought nothing says romance like the immediate prospect of rough anal sex

But the thing that struck me as odd was... why state that in your profile?? Believe me, it was the most striking piece of information imparted and it seemed to suggest that this was his defining characteristic.

My name is (insert name of choice) and I am an arse-aholic.

Now I have no problem with whatever sexual bag a person is into, although I tire of a one trick pony pretty quickly, but I don't get advertising ones proclivities as an opening gambit. Surely it's putting the cart before the horse? Now before you cry "he just wants to get laid", why then go to the trouble of writing anything else? And why list long term relationship as one of the options? He appeared to be trying to portray enough of his personality to suggest a desire for something other than casual sex. It seems to me that his arseaholic (liking that a lot) status could've been slipped in maybe a few emails down the line, or on a date even.

Anyway, maybe he read my thoughts as a couple months later I happened upon his profile again and he had changed it radically. Gone was the ass play. Gone was the rough sex. And instead, he'd taken to selling himself as an artsy intellectual. Earlier today, as I started writing this post, I searched for him just to see the state of current play, but his profile has gone. Presumably strategy B worked better and he's found an accommodating bottom to ride off into the sunset on...

I leave with you with a quote from the bible: "And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon". Nuff said.

(That's me done with anal for a day or two. Just in case you were wondering...)