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The Modern Materialist

Under My Nubrella-ella-ella-ella

Posted by Alex Zalben

It just strikes me that Rhianna would be slightly less popular today if she had to sing that. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.

The Nubrella, in case the picture wasn’t painfully obvious, is a full head, hands free umbrella, whose main purpose is to eliminate Umbrella Blow Out, the painful situation that occurs when your umbrella inverts from a gale force gust of wind. Instead, the Nubrella will crush your head into a dewy, ultra carbon dioxided mush.

JK, guys. There's no evidence to suggest that sticking your head in a plastic tent during a rainstorm will cause any sort of hot, steamy mess to form around your face. Just my own natural intuition. Anyway, here’s the official shpiel:

Nubrella is no ordinary umbrella, it stops rain, wind, snow and extreme cold- and keeps your head, face and shoulders drier than ever. It offers more protection, guaranteed! Yet, nubrella went one step further and is changing the game forever. With nubrella’s new patent pending “shoulder straps” and “offset handle” you can now be completely hands free! Yes, nubrella is the first true hands free umbrella in the world. You are probably already imagining all the times you wished you had a hands free umbrella, well now you can. So the time is now to add nubrella to your arsenal of weather protection gear and stay outdoors! Nubrella exploits the fundamental flaws of today’s traditional umbrella design. Many will believe nubrella is a “better mousetrap” for more inclement weather conditions.

As far as I can tell, the Nubrella comes in a variety of colors, including red, brown, black, and “Seriously, no, I’m not retarded, this is just my future umbrella.”

I really, really, really want to see someone ride around on a Segway while wearing one of these. [$59, Nubrella]

[Via UberGizmo] 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Steph Auteri said:

i'm not sure what to say. but i felt i had to say something. but i have no words...

February 22, 2008 10:33 AM

Sarah said:

So my head and shoulders will be dry, but the rest of my torso along with my legs and feet will still be drenched.  Genius.

February 22, 2008 4:35 PM

Alex Zalben said:

@Sarah: Would you prefer a full body Nubrella?

February 22, 2008 9:03 PM

Di said:

<i>As far as I can tell, the Nubrella comes in a variety of colors, including red, brown, black, and “Seriously, no, I’m not retarded, this is just my future umbrella.” </i>

*dies*

February 27, 2008 2:30 PM

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about the blogger

Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Hooksexup. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

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