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The Modern Materialist

Smiley Face Cheese Knives: A Contest (Part Two)

Posted by Wendy Atterberry

If you are joining our program late, we're having a contest. Readers were asked to finish the following sentence: "The cheese knives are smiling because..." Out of nearly 20 reponses, I've narrowed it down to the three I thought were best. Now it's up to you to vote for the winning response (the winner will receive the cheese knife set or a gift ceritifcate for equal value to Amazon):

Emily: Because they know what's coming will be gouda!

 

Saraswank: Because they are about to get laid by some crackers.

 

Dirk: The cheese knives are smiling because it keeps them from getting dull.

You may leave arguments for your favorite in the comments, but only the poll votes will count:

 

 

 

 


Related Post:

Smiley Face Cheese Knives: A Contest


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Comments

marianne said:

I vote Gouda! because cheesy puns are always gouda for you!

June 25, 2008 11:26 PM

Vanja said:

obviously getting laid by crackers -- as a professional comedy writer, it's clear to me that that one deserves the cheddar.  (nothing personal to the other two, you guys were funny too.)

June 26, 2008 6:38 PM

Notes said:

Okay, for real, getting laid by crackers is pretty funny. The delicate wit of this one is breathtakingly aromatic. It belongs to the finest of financier cakes: the cheese kind.

June 26, 2008 8:45 PM

qingshan said:

they're obviously smiling because they've been stacking hella cheddar. Wouldn't you smile too?

June 26, 2008 9:43 PM

El Magnifico said:

Gouda enough to prevent them from getting dull and help them getting laid?  I think not.  Since getting laid trumps dullness and puns for most people, the choice is obvious.

June 27, 2008 10:09 PM

About Wendy Atterberry

Wendy is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. She loves dive bars, diners and dark movie theaters and hates when people talk with affected accents (like Madonna and Johnny Depp). She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

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Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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