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The Modern Materialist

I Want to Give it To You So Bad: A Contest

Posted by Wendy Atterberry

 

With 440 words, this Sexual Innuendo Magnetic Poetry set contains all the words and phrases you and your friends need to create double entendres — poetic or otherwise. The best thing? It can be yours for free (or you can choose a $20 gift credit to Amazon if you prefer)! Keep reading to find out how.

Okay, all you have to do is leave a sexual innuendo in the comments. It can be a couple of words, a haiku, a phrase, a sonnet — whatever you want! On Wednesday I'll  post the best three and readers can then vote on a winner. The winner of the set will then be announced on Friday. Now give me your best shot. 

[$21.77, Amazon] 

Related: Smiley Face Cheese Knives: A Contest

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

Kelly Wood said:

Baby, I’m going to have to unsubscribe your RSS feed, because you’re turning my blackberry blue.

July 7, 2008 3:18 PM

Amanda said:

This contest is sort of vauge, because like, you need a place from which to pull your innuendo, right?  So here are some ripped fresh from today's headlines:

I want to crash my flower-laden 747 freighter into your Bogota Columbia.

I need to stuff your Zimbabwean ballot box with my sham ballots, baby.

My General Synod wants to accomodate you all night long, lady bishops.  

These things pretty much write themselves.  

July 7, 2008 3:33 PM

Jenn said:

I'd like to expand YOUR mobile platform!

July 7, 2008 10:20 PM

Amanda said:

Here is another great one brought to us this morning by some lap-band commercial I saw on TV Land:

"I want to practice karate with my little warrior".

July 8, 2008 9:19 AM

Tim A. said:

Like a vintage Firgidaire, I want to slather your glabrous, marmoreal skin with a magnetic mosaic surging from my lips.

July 8, 2008 4:37 PM

Addie said:

I want to be the dock to your Ipod, You can be on top.

I want my Radioactive isotope to decay inside of you.

Like a Russian hacker I want to breach your firewall.

I want to recreate the Cambrian explosion with you. I'll be the development of sex and you can be Natural Selection.

Like a Tsunami I wanna carry you away.

Like a hurricane I wanna batter you with my G-Force winds.

The really weird ones come from my geeky brother.

July 8, 2008 11:31 PM

eurrapanzy said:

pleased to meet you.  i'm so sorry my hands are full, how about we shake something else?

July 9, 2008 12:44 PM

About Wendy Atterberry

Wendy is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. She loves dive bars, diners and dark movie theaters and hates when people talk with affected accents (like Madonna and Johnny Depp). She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

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Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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