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The Modern Materialist

Sex Tips for Long-Distance Lovers (NSFW)

Posted by Steph Auteri

 

  1. learn to rely on a little self-love
  2. invest in a webcam
  3. master the art of virtual dirty talk via text message or IM
  4. stop worrying about what he/she is getting up to over there
  5. consider trying out one of these forms of teledildonics:

 

[$129.95, Sinulator]

With the Sinulator, your partner can control your sex toys over the Internet, or by using the remote control. The main package on the site includes both the remote and your typical pink rabbit pearl vibrator.

 

 

[$84.99, High Joy Products]

The iVibe Rabbit is similar to the Sinulator package, in that you can engage your partner in an online sex session at Highjoy.com.

 

 

[$69, OhMiBod]

The Boditalk is similar to the Naughtibod, previously reviewed here on MM. Except in this case, it's your phone conversation that gets you off, and not your iTunes playlist. Boditalk is activated by calls made to or from your cell phone, pleasuring you with a vibrating sequence that lasts for the entire call, making phone sex a lot more high-tech.

 

 

vitamaker

[$81.95, VitaMaker]

I've posted about this one before, but it belongs in this post as well. This voice-activated rabbit vibrator has voice recognition software, allowing you to record commands that correspond to certain functions. Record your loved one's voice, so that you can trick yourself into believing he's right there. Okay, I just creeped myself out.

 

 

[CuteCircuit]

And finally, we have the Hug Shirt, which is more sweet than sexy, and still a concept. You can find the huge-ass explanation on how to send hugs here.

Related: Test Drive: Can This Toy Make You Scream Oh My..., NSFW or Thin-Walled Apartments


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, https://twitter.com/stephauteri.

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Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site https://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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