Earlier today, I mentioned that I had scored one sweet toy over the weekend, at the launch party for a calendar benefiting Sex Work Awareness. I was way excited, mostly because I had always been intrigued by the OhMiBod, whose vibrations pulse in time to the music on your mp3 player (this is why Footloose exists). Still, I had never felt justified in spending the $70 on it.
The Naughtibod is also from the OhMiBod line, and works in much the same way as its predecessor, albeit in a slightly smaller package (that's what she said). This morning, after my morning cup of coffee and a bowl of Rice Krispies, I decided to whip off my Superman pajama pants and take my Naughtibod for a test drive.
I unpacked several items from the Naughtibod box:
- the Naughtibod itself
- two end caps, one for use with your mp3 player, the other for use without
- two sets of batteries (despite an assertion in the user's manual that batteries were not included)
- a wire for use in connecting your vibrator, iPod, and headphones
- and a fuzzy pink drawstring bag for storage
Just to be completely thorough and scientific, I used the second end cap first, just to see what it had to offer. This particular end cap has no input for your mp3 player. Rather, it has two buttons, one of which lets you cycle between seven different vibrating patterns, and one to make the vibe stop.
I only tested this out on my hand, as I wanted to save the orgasms for the dance music, but I was able to note that the patterns were...sufficiently varied? Whatevs. It's a nice option to have if this is your only vibe, and if you don't feel like listening to anything but your own moans while you get yourself off. I cycled through the options quickly and rushed to switch end caps.
I plugged in my iPod, on which I then scrolled to my guilty pleasure playlist before putting in my earbuds. I reached...down there...with my Naughtibod.
Annie's "I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me" blared in my ears, but I could barely feel anything in my nether regions. Crap! I knew that my stint reviewing sex toys would leave my bits immune to all but the most powerful of vibes! Still, I soldiered on, increasing the volume on my iPod, which in turn increased the power of the vibrations. At this point, I was risking permanent hearing loss, but I still wasn't feeling much down south. In addition, the pulsing of the vibe didn't seem much in keeping with the beat of the song. As a former band geek, this was totally throwing me off.
I fast forwarded, and Estelle's "American Boy" came on. Wth a strong beat, and a peppy tune, things began looking up. While the vibrations were still not as strong as I would have liked, I started to think that maybe my libido was awakening from its deep, deep (deep) slumber.
Big & Rich's "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" (shut up) came on next. The opening beats were matched by a staccato-like vibration, which felt...kinda nice. This didn't last long, though, as, once the song really got going, the vibrations morphed into a consistently steady hum. The song did't really have any low points that allowed the vibe to detect the underlying beat, so there was no variation in the vibe rhythms.
My ears, of course, were bleeding by this point.
J/K!
Seriously, though. I was getting a headache so, when Korn's "Word Up" came on next, I just took one of the earbuds out to give myself a break. Still, no matter how I squirmed and shifted and manipulated the vibe, I wasn't getting anywhere. And that is frustrating.
Eventually, I had to finish myself off with my old tried-and-true vibe. ::sigh:: Perhaps I'm just a creature of habit.
Still, though. You might appreciate this if you don't have the clit of stone that I apparently do. Happy vibing!
[$69, OhMiBod]
Related: Giving Something Back, Feeling Your Vibe, I Was Just Massaging My Neck..., I've Got a Golden Vibrator...