Meanwhile, in News We Could Have Used 25 Years Ago, 8-year-old twins Jared and Justin Serovich will be showing off their invention -- a pair of wedgie-proofed boxer shorts called the Rip-Away 1000 -- on tomorrow's Ellen. From the description, it sounds like they're sort of like stripper pants for kids, in that they just kind of come away with a tug, which we find a little distressing, but hey, wedgies are a serious health problem in this country, so the ends clearly justify the means.
In honor of Jared and Justin's towering acheivement, we hereby provide you with links to this hysterical video called Wedgie Boys and, for parity's sake, to the presumably defunct and certainly pre-Web-2.0 site Wedgie Girls, whose mission will, we trust, be fairly self-explanatory. (We think Wedgie Girls was meant to be funny rather than deviant, but perhaps we're just saying that because it's hard to tell how old the photo subjects are?) Take a good long look and remember what you see, for if the young Serovichs and that unforgiving mistress known as Progress have their way, the wedgie -- like the common cold or drum and bass -- may soon be a thing of the past.