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Marry, F*ck, or Kill?: Thanksgiving Dinner

Posted by Nicole Pasulka

We at Scanner would like to go on record as huge fans of Thanksgiving dinner. From start to finish, it's the perfect meal. As we're peeling apples for pie, we want to know how you feel about the holiday. More specifically, we want to know what you do if forced to marry, fuck, or kill Thanksgiving dinner. The showdown is between turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes. Which would you make an honest meal out of, which would you gorge yourself on and leave before morning, and which would you feed to the dogs?

Marry, fuck, or kill?:

  • Turkey
  • Stuffing
  • Mashed potatoes 

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Nov 16 2007, 11:07 AM
Filed under: , ,

Comments

sarahhepola said:

I would so fuck the stuffing. I would ride that stuffing till the football games were over and my uncles were all passed out on the couch. I would probably marry the mashed potatoes, because marriage to a starch seems like an enduring proposition. Kill the turkey. Turkey kind of sucks, people.

November 16, 2007 11:53 AM

jezebel9 said:

Wow. Sarah totally stole everything I was going to say. So, um. Yeah...

Marry the potatoes, fuck the stuffing, kill the turkey. Mmm... stuffing... Potatoes are always there for me, but stuffing is just a twice a year fling (honestly baby... nothing' more, I swear!).

November 16, 2007 12:12 PM

alisonica said:

Marry: Turkey (though I would prefer to marry tofu)

Fuck: Stuffing

Kill: Mashed Potatoes

November 16, 2007 12:17 PM

ElDeano said:

Marry:  The turkey, especially if smoked

Fuck:  The mash potatoes, prefect texture

Kill:  The stuffing!

November 16, 2007 2:21 PM

rachel said:

fuck- stuffing. i wait all year for it. i yearn and pine for it. it never lets me down. even when other people can't get the other stuff right (how difficult are mashed potatoes people?) the stuffing is always there for me.

marry- pumpkin pie. not an option i know, but i would go to the ends of the earth for it. i would disobey the Hooksexup MFK rules for it. it's that good between me and the pumkin pie.

kill-turkey and potatoes. who cares. they are just an excuse for me to spend time with my true loves-stuffing and pumkin pie. mmm-mmmm.

November 16, 2007 2:32 PM

Nikki said:

Marry: mashed potatoes

Fuck: cranberry sauce (sorry, stuffing)

Kill: Turkey

November 16, 2007 4:04 PM

profrobert said:

See now, if you'd picked the warm, apple pie as one of the candidates, this would have been much easier.

November 16, 2007 5:20 PM

zeroisanumber said:

Shit. If I knew it was going to be this kind of party, I'd 've stuck my dick in the mashed potatas.

November 17, 2007 7:41 AM

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about the blogger

Sarah Hepola has been a high-school teacher, a playwright, a film critic, a music editor and a travel columnist. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, The Guardian, and on NPR. She lives in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Editorial Director, Hooksexup Media:
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