In what is becoming all but a regular feature here on Scanner, today we'll look at some more hilariously vicious reviews of Hollywood movies in need of a good beating. Will Ferrell has had this one coming for a looong time...
FilmsInReview's Victoria Alexander rants about "Semi-Pro," the new Will Ferrell sports parody movie (what's next, dodgeball?!) opening today in far too many theaters to do this country any good:
The directing is terrible and, more important, it's not funny. Who edited out the funny stuff? I happen to love Ferrell's FunnyOrDie.com but no part of "Semi-Pro" would qualify for this internet site sensation. ...John C. Reilly has eclipsed him as the clueless megalomaniac middle-aged guy with a dream. Reilly makes a commitment, Ferrell is now hogging the limelight.
And, the keeper:
Who knew Woody Harrelson was (a) so short, (b) so obviously medicated, and (c) needed a paycheck?
Um, clearly Victoria has never seen a Woody Harrelson movie before... or ever seen Woody Harrelson.
Meanwhile, Ethan Alter from Film Journal International hails the basketball flick as:
“The Will Ferrell Show,” with the second-stringers—including such dependable scene-stealers as Harrelson, Will Arnett and Andy Richter—relegated to the sidelines, fighting for scraps.
Bob Blum in the Lafayette, IN Journal and Courier even goes after the movie for its easy-picking's title:
And what an apt title for a movie that looks like it was untouched by professional filmmakers.
What is most extraordinary about Semi-Pro is that someone actually provided money to produce it. The funding probably came from someone who did not-- could not-- read the script.
It would not be surprising if sports industry lobbyists descended on Washington demanding that Congress pass a measure outlawing Will Ferrell from starring in any more athletic-themed movies. The comedy is lower than lowbrow, it is stupid and inane.
It is questionable whether you can even classify Semi-Pro as a movie. Sure, it is on celluloid, but it lacks structure, coherence and any real point.
And finally, Salon's reviewer had this to say about Ferrell's character:
At one point a distraught Jackie Moon laments, "I just wish I could puke this all away." A good purge isn't a bad idea.