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Scanner Highs and Lows: We See London, We See France, We See Everyone's Everything

Posted by Emily Farris

 

Spring must really be in the air, because we saw everybody's everything this week—including some we wish we hadn't.

Highs:

We found a way for you to claim your wang name.

This boy saw some girl parts in the White House basement. 

We saw this woman's ginormous breasts. And she wants to make them bigger. 

We saw a reproduction of Bea Arthur's boobs in celebration of Bea Day (a high for some, a low for others). 

We think Miley Cyrus cleaned up her image by gucking up her upper lip

These big parts are worth some big dough. 

We were so close to seeing this woman's areolas. 

We saw Angelina Jolie's glorious, uh, twins.  

We sure did see Lily Allen's boobs

Lows:

We wished long and hard we had not seen the parts of this man that we saw. 

Animal rape was caught on tape.

If you show us your nipples, we'll measure them

We got a little too intimate with a tree

Researchers discovered what we knew all along: getting drunk leads to getting nekkid.

School administration saw way too much of this girl and kicked her out of prom.

Naomi Watts tried unsuccessfully to cover up her nipples.  

We should not have seen this doll's boy parts. But we did. 


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About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one...so far.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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