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The 10 Best Things About Vibrators

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Our substitute blogger, Byron Dafoe, writes in: "Scanner Brian's tongue-in-cheek post about 'fearing' a partner-eliminating vibrator may have given the mistaken impression that we are anti-vibrator. Quite the contrary. In order to celebrate Babeland's new ROBORUB 3000 (or whatever it is) we present our top 10 reasons why we love the vibrator."

10. You can lean back and enjoy the beauty of a woman’s orgasm with the same studied intensity you bring to your crazy friend's gallery opening. 

9. Norwegian Dildo Parties? 

8. Tag ‘em in and take a break: it’s sandwich time! 

7. An ample substitute for bachelor parties too poor to hire a stripper (?!)

6. Remote Control Torture Fun 

5. Enjoy double-penetration without the awkward run-ins at the next party. 

4. Eggs. Need we say more? 

3. As much as you may not want to admit it, everyone’s ass is just loaded with Hooksexup endings. Male or female, you too can enjoy every single one of them. 

2. Orgasm. Times 10. 

1. See #2 again, and again, and again.

-by Byron Dafoe, whose work has appeared in Playboy and many other publications and is filling in for Verena this week 

 

Related:

Babeland Launches The Erratic, Dangerous, Man-Eliminating Vibrator

Give the Gift of Life This Holiday Season: A Vibrator

Sloppy Seconds: Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

Quite Possibly the Best Christmas Gift Ever: The Everlasting Vibrator

Vibrating Mascara: Because You're Worth It

Holy Papaya, Batman! That's a Vibrator!

Top 10 "Happy Earth Day" Sex Toys

Hey Everybody, I Just Pummeled My Vagina!


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Comments

dippy_gumball said:

#4, yeah, you need to say more.  Eggs?  I'm so confused.

August 12, 2008 12:45 PM

Mandy said:

#4. Eggs.

I'm in agreement with dippy_gumball there. I own two shoeboxes full of sex toys and vibrators and I don't know what you mean. Unless you are just referring to a bullet vibe / vibrating egg ... but even in that case, what about them?

August 12, 2008 1:15 PM

suzie-Q said:

I'm thinking that Brian meant the egg vibe. I love that thing!

August 12, 2008 2:54 PM

Byron - said:

yes, I meant vibrating eggs. Since every woman I've ever know has always referred to them simply as "eggs" I figured people in the know would get it...

ah well - you just never can tell.

August 12, 2008 9:09 PM

Jeff said:

Vibrators are nice, but I've generally found that a good butt plug goes a lot farther...

August 13, 2008 1:21 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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