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This Thanksgiving, Just Shut Up and Be Thankful for Your Faithful Mate (Who You Probably Don't Really Have)

Posted by Emily Farris

 

We just love holiday press releases here at Scanner. We're actually starting to believe they're funded by liquor companies. They're either so full of warm and fuzzy bullshit you want to laugh about it over a bottle of wine or they contain some information that will likely scare you so much you spend the entire holiday throwing back Bailey's on the rocks to forget that your life, as you know it, may crumble in front of you (and your entire family) at any given moment.

Our holiday press release du jour comes from Ruth Houston an, "infidelity expert and author" who thinks you should spend Thanksgiving giving thanks for your monogamous mate. But, she adds, even though you think you have a faithful partner, you probably don't, mmmkay? 

It is of the utmost importance to be reminded on Turkey Day, that:

• 50% to 70% of men cheat on their mates
• female infidelity has increased 50% in the past 10 years
• In one study, 70% of married women and 54% of married men whose spouses were cheating had no idea their partner was having an affair.
• In another study, 60% of those who admitted to cheating, said their partner did not know about their affair.

But she's quick to remind us that even if you think your mate falls into the faithful category, think again:

"Most people who are married or in a committed relationship automatically assume their partner is faithful. But as the statistics above indicate, only a small percentage of those in relationships can truthfully make that claim."

Yeah, so instead of spending so much on a free-range, organic turkey this year, you should be saving your money for a private investigator. And booze. Lots of booze. 

Thanks, Ruth Huston! 

[This Thanksgiving, Be Thankful if You Have a Faithful Mate]

Related:

Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart Mash the Potatoes

Scanner Roundtable: What Counts As Cheating?

CBS News Correspondent Embroiled In Career-Defining Sex Scandal

Marry, F*ck, or Kill?: Thanksgiving Dinner

Shameless Self Promotion: My Book!

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About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one...so far.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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