Perhaps its the ungodly amount of TV I watch, or perhaps it’s my decidedly diminished brain capacity (thanks Gossip Girl, The Hills, Rock of Love, et al.), or perhaps I’m just hitting an age where practicality trumps all, but infomercials are really getting me. And there are three for which I have decided I must be a target customer.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that as the numbers in my age get larger, the presents under the tree get smaller. For example, this year there were exactly 3 presents under my tree. (One was a bathrobe. One was a journal. And one was a re-gifted perfume my mom received in a giftbag at one of her charity events. But I’m not bitter about that. I never have been.) That said, a (measly) three presents is not to say that there weren’t one or, more specifically, three things that were noticeably missing.
3. Strap Perfect™ – The Ultimate Bra Strap Solution!
This one is a new-comer, but there is no doubt it's here to stay. Notwithstanding the fact that I may have just been party to an email sent out to all the ladies of my office asking who wants in on a group order. (What? They only come in packs of 9!) Also, the spokeswoman is a dead-ringer for Suzanne Somers, and we all know that what infomercial-ed object Suzanne touches turns to gold.
2. ShamWow – Holds 20 Times It’s Weight In Liquid!
This one has been on The View and everything! Just watch the video and imagine the ease with which one could clean up spilled beer, French Bulldog barf, and dirty water from when one has overzealously over-watered the plant!
1. Snuggie – The Blanket With Sleeves!
And lastly, but surely not leastly, the Snuggie. Never has there been an infomercial product so near and dear to my heart. Just to think of all the times I've been curled up on the couch, wrapped snugly in a blanket, when OH NO!, I've had to change the channel. There were times when I was lucky enough to have the remote near by - resting gently on my chest, perchance - but even those few split-seconds during the remote-control reach, when bare arm meets bare air and your cosy enclosure has been breached, well, those few seconds are a nothing short of misery. And I know I'm not alone. Because, I kid you not, not longer ago than yesterday, my Grandmother sat me down, apologized for her lack of gift, and told me of a wonderful blanket she'd seen on the TV - it had sleeves! And would I like one?
Yes, ma'am. I'd like one very much.
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