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Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Say Goodbye to the Crazy Cat Lady

Posted by Emily Farris

 

We can hardly believe it either (and don't worry: our precious pussy is still alive and well).

Highs:

We can only hope to age as well as these women.

And that we'll be as ballsy as this one when we hit that age.

We saw Keith Richards whip it out. Sort of.

We had way too much fun with Wikipedia audio.

And with Google image search.

We found out newest volunteer project.

This guy (or gal) Twat the best.

We learned that human breast milk tastes just like or better than cow milk when put in delicious cupcakes.

This was after we discussed whether or not one should suckle it.

And quite possibly the most important high of all: we are no longer on the road to becoming a crazy cat lady.

Lows:

Our vaginas cringed.

We learned even more about why we're so bad at dating.

Tonya Harding came back into our lives. (But did she ever really leave?)

Apparently not too many of us are having regular sex.

And if we keep reading shit like this, we'll never want to have sex again.

Especially if online porn is dying.

Since when was "bobbit" a verb?

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About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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