This isn't really news since it's something that's been around for ages, but we were thinking today, "Who/how/why did this whole trend of writing mock-ecstatic reviews of stupid Amazon products get started?" Not that we're complaining... once you see what we have for you today, you won't mind either...
5.0 out of 5 stars
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B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
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This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
4.0 out of 5 stars Shamwow with Wolves
I liked the design of this Tshirt so much that I ordered two of them. Then the idea came to me that I could use them as seat covers in my Camaro because I'm all about classing up... Read more
Published 1 hour ago by Nappy
5.0 out of 5 stars An Elf's Secret Weapon
This shirt should be illegal. Its just not fair to the other players. When I wear this bad boy to a D&D tournament, my elf transforms into a wolf-god, making mince-meat of his... Read more
Published 4 hours ago by The Great Elf
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh sweet Jesus this thing rocks, May 5, 2009
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B. Prince (USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME) |
I have been wearing this shirt for about 15 weeks and I have not needed to wash it! You don't put this shirt on your torso you put it on your soul. The day I bought this shirt I lost 300 lbs! I got a new chevy, a new Trailer and my kids quit meth. I now know that the moon on this shirt is not a picture but the moon itself. I am the Moon Star!!!!!!!
5.0 out of 5 stars Synergy, May 4, 2009
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Chaon (Taichung) - See all my reviews |
I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God.
You don't wear this shirt. This shirt wears YOU.
I stumbled upon this item while searching for a Three Dog Night album, but so what? This was the perfect surprise gift for myself. Read more
5.0 out of 5 stars Awsome
I came to this site looking for a nice two wolf shirt maybe with one black wolf and one white wolf. Then I saw this three wolf shirt and instantly ordered it. Read more
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5.0 out of 5 stars What could possibly go wrong?
Recently, my girlfriend asked me to meet her parents. I was hesitant at first, and declined the offer for a couple of months. Finally, she wore me down and got me to agree. Read more
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You don't even need to read the rest of that last one... the intro says it all once you see the above picture of the shirt he probably wore.
Those are the best ones, but read more at Amazon.com. Thanks, Robert!
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