Robert Stewart, bon vivant and fucker des bicyclettes, has been sentenced to 3 years probabtion for his heinous crimes against humanity and aluminum alloy frames. In addition to probation, Stewart will be listed on a sex offender registry, where we can only hope that his name will feature an asterisk depicting his crime. (That's in Zapf Dingbats, right?)
Meanwhile, in the good old U S of A, some washed-up starlet served less time for getting busted with coke than it takes for most dealers to call you back. Ha ha! Take that Englishers! No wonder we stormed the beach at Boston to move our country further away from you!
Hey, semi-tangentially: what's the best song about cocaine? Because we're pretty sure there's only one good song about intercourse with a bike.