I remember going to see The Waterboy early in November of 1998. I was there for one reason and one reason only: to see the trailer for Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Even then, I could see the seeds of tragedy waiting for me in the coming spring. But sixteen year-old John Constantine was filled with nerd zealotry and managed to convince himself that the few minutes of lightsabers and wooden dialogue he saw on screen promised a great film worthy of its legacy. Twenty-five year old John Constantine knows better. This trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opens with an explicit attempt to get the nostalgia juices flowing but gets awkward fast. We get a few scenes of dominatrix-fantasy Cate Blanchett chasing Henry Jones Jr. through some very, very familiar locales, a vintage theme song that seems oddly out of place, and some one-liners that feel a little too fan fiction for comfort. Don’t take this as typical pop-culture addict cynicism. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.