It’s just a rumor right now but, according to the Daily Mail, Madonna is trying to get together a remake of Casablanca. A remake of Casablanca set in Iraq in which she plays Ilsa Lund. Go ahead, find something disposable to vomit in. You back? Now think of all her scenes in Dick Tracy. Bet you don’t remember eating those carrots. Now think of Guy Ritchie’s Swept Away remake. Alright, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.
Thankfully, there’s no script or anything remotely tangible to confirm this horror yet but if anyone can get funding to make something terrible, it’s Madonna.
I apologize for earlier. Click on this. It’ll make you feel better.
Props to Buzz Sugar for warning us.