Earlier this week, when I ran the trailer for Eddie Murphy's latest winner, Meet Dave, I thought I'd seen one of the least appealing trailers of 2008. Foolish me — if only I knew the horrors that awaited me, horrors surpassing even those found in The Love Guru trailer. How many kinds of terrible is this trailer? Let's begin by the central pairing — the increasingly intolerable Cameron Diaz opposite perhaps the most insufferable leading man in Hollywood, Ashton Kutcher. Then there's the contrived, godawful premise, which finds Cam and Kutch fighting over a shared $3 million windfall, never mind that most people would be ecstatic to take their half and run for the hills. And let's not forget that the characters are so asinine that they aren't able to notice when the toilet seat is missing, or so dense that they don't see anything wrong when dozens of hot women randomly show up at the apartment and start partying. And let's not forget that domestic violence joke at the end, sure to get a laugh from anyone who's ever had a friend in an abusive relationship, which is, oh, roughly 98% of the population. Not only does What Happens in Vegas look desperately unfunny, but it's out of touch with anyone in the audience who isn't already a movie star to an almost offensive degree. Normally, I try not to give away too much about a trailer, but I'm breaking my rule here because I really don't want you folks to watch this yourselves. Don't say I never did anything for you.