By now me and you and everyone we know is aware that Guillermo del Toro has been tapped to direct not one but two new hobbit movies based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. (Initial reports indicated that the second film would span the period between the end of the book and the beginning of Lord of the Rings, but now that appears not to be the case.) Now that years of accounting disputes between New Line and Peter Jackson are finally resolved, the AP reports that del Toro “will move to New Zealand for four years to make the films back-to-back with executive producer Peter Jackson.”
Seems like a perfect match, right? If Jackson himself can’t direct them, why not substitute another hobbit-looking fantasy filmmaker? But Salon’s Andrew O’Hehir smells a rat. O’Hehir interviewed del Toro at the 2006 Cannes Film Festival and asked him about Tolkien’s influence on his work. “I was never into heroic fantasy,” del Toro replied. “At all. I don't like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits -- I've never been into that at all. I don't like sword and sorcery, I hate all that stuff.”
I suppose you could make the argument that hiring a hobbit-hater to direct The Hobbit could spark some creative tension, but O’Hehir isn’t having it, especially since the whole process will consume four years out of del Toro’s career. “I'm riding a major bummer if del Toro is shelving 3993 (the third of his Spanish history-fantasy trilogy, after Pan's Labyrinth and The Devil's Backbone), his adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness or his Doctor Strange blockbuster. All three of those projects are vastly better fits than the hairy-footed little guys and dragons.”
Meanwhile, Defamer has been hard at work coming up with more suitable nominations for the Hobbit director’s chair. We particularly enjoy the suggestion of David Lynch: “A natural short-lister for any film involving midgets. Plus we all know how well his previous would-be fantasy franchise went.” Yes, that would be Dune.