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Bangkok Ludicrous: The Perils of English-Language Remakes

Posted by Leonard Pierce

This week saw the debut of Bangkok Dangerous, a bizarrely titled remake by Danny Pang and Oxide Pang Chun of the bizarrely titled Bangkok Dangerous by Danny Pang and Oxide Pang Chun.  The main differences between the two films are that the original was in the Thai language; the star of the 1999 original, Pawalit Mongkolpisit, played a deaf-mute with a slightly less ridiculous haircut than Nicholas Cage sports in the remake; and the second version stinks like the underside of a refrigerator.

Alison Willmore at IFC.com, in left-handed honor of Bangkok Dangerous, prepares a list of other English-language remakes of foreign films by the original directors, and in so doing, illustrates that, though the filmmakers are gambling that a U.S. release will net them the fame and increased audience foreign films rarely receive, it's a sucker's bet.  Such movies are almost invariably disasters, from Les Visiteurs, a blockbuster French comedy remade in 2001 as the moronic Just Visiting to the pointless reboot of Michael Haneke's Funny Games in 2007. Perhaps the most disastrous of these movies was The Vanishing, a witless remake if George Sluizer's heart-stopping 1988 thriller Spoorloos that completely deflated all the tension and menace of his original.  (Sluizer's latest movie was a Rob Schneider vehicle, which is cruel and unusual punishment even for a man who did The Vanishing.)

One of the shocking revelations in Willmore's list is that, despite her excellent reputation as an actress, Naomi Watts is virtually the queen of the junky English-language remake.  Not only did she star in the arbitrary remake of Haneke's Funny Games (eating up a big chunk of the $15 million cost of the film it utterly failed to recoup at the box office), but she also played the lead in The Shaft, Dick Maas' dopey remake of his 1983 horror movie about a killer elevator.  No, really.

Related Posts:

Trailer Review:  Bangkok Dangerous

Funny Games:  I Laughed, I Cried, I Puked


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Comments

mr mannn said:

Hey, i liked De Lift! (and Maas' underrated Amsterdamned too....whatever hapened to Maas' leading man, Huub Stapel, anyways?)

September 18, 2008 11:43 AM

kaegan said:

Alright, I'm tired of this.  The very point of Funny Games '07 was that it had no point.  No point to be remade.  That is exactly its point.  One of the major themes of the film (besides the original ones which are still present) is a sharp criticism of foreign remakes.  Haneke had originally wanted to call it Funny Games USA.  Moreover, it is not a "junky remake" it is exactly the same, exactly as good as the first.  Haneke is saying "look, I got it right the first time - why not just read subtitles you dumb fuck?"  Michael Haneke never makes any mistakes.  Everything he does (especially the those that are the most frustraiting, angering, ox headed, unceremoniously nihilistic/violent) is for a very, very calculated reason.

September 21, 2008 10:16 PM

Scott Von Doviak said:

Really? Wow, that was a great use of Haneke's remaining time on this planet. But as long as people will still kiss his ass for doing it, I guess it's okay.

September 21, 2008 11:03 PM

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