Note: Beginning this week, I’m changing the format for Reviews by Request in an attempt to allow more people to participate in the requesting process. See the note at the end of the review for details.
Special thanks to reader Kent M. Beeson for requesting this week’s review, of which he said, “I'd love to hear what you think, but I fear the words will get stuck in your throat.” Hope I did it justice, Kent.
As sophisticated as I like to pretend my moviegoing tastes are, there’s still a part of me that loves old-school Japanese monster movies with a childlike glee. I’m guessing a lot of this has to do with the monsters themselves, which without fail tend to make me want to emit loud, Harry Knowles-like cheers of “man in suit! Yeeeeeah!!!” But while I (usually) refrain from doing this, there’s still something about this antiquated technique that takes me back to my youth. In an age when practically any monster imaginable can be created on a computer, it still proves tricky for FX whizzes to really give their CGI beasties a real presence in the action.
Now, some people out there aren’t as keen on old-school monsters as I am, presumably because they’re still in the thrall of the new and the flashy. But in my experience, it’s rare to find a digital monster with even half the personality of the man-in-suit creatures of yore. Peter Jackson’s Kong came close, as did the slimy baddie in The Host, but most of them are too graceful and weightless to really work in the same way as, say, the classic incarnations on Godzilla. By actually dressing a person up in an oversized rubber costume, a monster takes on a kind of imperfect human physicality that’s nearly impossible to duplicate on a computer. This is the difference between a monster who works as an actual character in the story and one that’s merely a plot device. And if a monster movie succeeds or fails on the basis of how good its monster is, Ishiro Honda’s War of the Gargantuas is one of the greatest monster movies ever made.
The plot is… well, I’m sure you can guess. A giant monster attacks Japan, the army tries to fight it off, and scientists work to determine how to destroy it. As with most of the classic “kaiju” movies, science is to blame for creating the monster- in this case, an American scientist (played by Russ Tamblyn) who once created an ape-like hulk who later escaped into the wild. The characters usually refer to the monster as “Frankenstein,” although anyone who paid attention in Brit Lit will no doubt recall that “Frankenstein” was the doctor’s name, while his creation was “Frankenstein’s Monster” or “The Creature.” No matter- the monster’s out there now, and much effort is expended to take it down.
But suddenly… wait, what’s this? There are actually TWO Frankensteins! Of course, there’d kind of have to be, or else the title wouldn’t make much sense. Anyway, it seems the creature currently menacing the coastline of Japan is not the same creature as the escaped Frankenstein. The new Frankenstein (called Gailah) is the destructive one, while the one that originally escaped (now called Sanda) tries to stop him. At one point, Tamblyn helpfully explains that human cruelty apparently caused Sanda to lose a piece of his body, which eventually developed into Gailah. “It’s kind of like cloning,” he says, although it sounds more like budding to me. If there’s a subtext here, it’s that the man’s appetite for destruction will only sow more hatred and evil in the world. Needless to say, this development leaves the army at a bit of a loss, since they can’t risk creating more Frankensteins in their efforts to destroy the one they’re facing.
I know what you’re saying- what about the monsters? Well, they’re awesome, in large part because they’re not the godlike creatures you’ll find in many movies of this sort. Gailah is basically an overgrown baby, panicking at the sight of fire or bright light, injuring fairly easily for a being of his size. Meanwhile, while the Japanese army would prefer to simply rid themselves of both Frankensteins, Tamblyn and comely assistant Kumi Mizuno know that Santa is really a gentle soul. In my favorite shot of the film, Sanda slides down a mountain in slow-motion to rescue Mizuno, who he remembers from when he was (much) smaller.
What’s inescapable about the Frankensteins is how clumsy they are. They don’t leap around with a balletic grace, but instead lumber and lurch like, well, Frankenstein’s monster. When they fight, they stomp around, they occasionally miss their punches, they fall with a thud. And of course, they do plenty of damage to the city, both inadvertently and purposely. In the end, they take their battle out to sea, where they are presumed destroyed by the sudden emergence of a massive volcano (a volcano ex machina?). Yet it’s never quite clear if they’ve actually been destroyed. One yearns for a sequel, but alas, it never happened.
War of the Gargantuas has pretty much everything you could want from a Japanese monster movie, and nothing you don’t. There’s very little “human interest” in the movie, aside from a hint of a love story between Tamblyn and Mizuno. Instead, the movie gives you 90 minutes of monster mayhem, army battles, wanton destruction, and stern-faced scientists trying to puzzle out what it all means, all in glorious Tohoscope™ and accompanied by music by the great Akira Ifukube. Yes, it’s formulaic, but when the formula is done this well, it’s churlish to complain. If you like movies like this, War of the Gargantuas should be right up your alley. I know I enjoyed the hell out of it.
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Beginning this week, I’ve decided to switch the format of my Reviews By Requests columns. Rather than taking suggestions in the comments section, I’m going to start using a poll to determine my next Review By Request. Below, I’ve listed five noteworthy films I haven’t seen. I ask only that you, the readers, choose your favorite from this rather diverse bunch. So, what’ll it be? Andy Warhol’s two-projector art film? Monte Hellmann’s Warren Oates-starring B-movie favorite? Werner Herzog’s early documentary about a blind and deaf woman? The Vincente Minnelli/Rat Pack classic that has lent its name to the blog of Screengrab fave Glenn Kenny? Or Kon Ichikawa’s epic account of the 1964 Olympic Games? It’s up to you:
This poll will remain active through Friday, and whichever movie receives the most votes will be my next Review By Request. So feel free to stump for your favorite of the bunch in the comments section below, or even suggest a few titles for the special horror-themed Review By Request that will run the week of Halloween.