8:58:
Can we just pause and note how much we miss Charlie. Look at him up there in that picture. What a sweetie.
8:59:
Oh, also, we totally watched that "pop-up" recap thing -- and we are stoked for this!!!
9:03:
We're back in the scene from the end of season three -- and it's been three years since they left the island. Oh, man, this is so not gonna be an uplifting episode, is it? Jin is totally gonna buy the farm, isn't he?
9:10:
Seeing John and Jack tussle a little makes us remember: we are really, really bored with that shit.
9:11:
Kate runs in all "I'm being chased." She is so not being chased. It's rather delicious waiting for this shit to go down. ABC: are we gonna see some headshots here? Woah, that guy just got a dart in his neck, close-up. That counts! Lots of good fighting... and Keema gets three in the back! Cripes, we been waiting for that.
9:16:
Commercial. What do you guys think: Hancock? We smell cult hit -- and Fourth of July flop.
9:19:
Holy shit, Walt's gonna be a big dude. Like, tomorrow. He knows something about Jeremy Bentham. And Michael's back on the island? (Maybe.) Good scene plotwise, but we still feel a little cheated that it got so storyish; Walt kind of makes us sad, and we could go for a little eye misting right now.
9:24:
Ooooh... Ben is being really nice now: giving the crash survivors a chopper, letting them leave the island... wishing them well. Spooky, dude.
9:30:
Here's why we like Lost. Because we're totally getting excited about Michael freezing the bombs on the boat -- even though we already know that Keema's dead and no one's gonna blow it up anyway. Wait: is it on a timer or something?
9:32:
Yeah, dude: what do you mean?
9:33:
Dharma-vision instructional video! How much do we love this shit? Dig that VHS artefacting they did. Kasimir effect, by the way. Sorry, Casimir effect.
9:36:
Commercial. Can we talk about how much most of the good stuff in The Incredible Hulk trailers looks pretty much ripped right out of Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, the GTA-style video game that came out four years ago?
9:43:
Let's see, getting in the chopper now we got three of the Oceanic Six, the pilot... and Sawyer. Ah, dude - you just got on our redshirt list.
9:44:
Keema! You sonofabitch! You're back! ABC: this is all your fault. If you'd given us that headshot we asked for... Oh, whatever happens to that dude, he is so winding up in that transportation tube or whatever, right?
9:47:
And Ben doesn't care that by trying to kill Keema, he tried to kill everyone on the boat. A pause, and then he just goes "So" -- and we are reminded yet again of how occasionally this show is capable of wonderful, deeply Whedon-esque dialogue.
9:54:
We're thinking that Michael, Desmond, and Jin, are in serious trouble here. Oh, also they're starting to throw shit out of the chopper. We're giving Sawyer, like, 2 minutes...
9:57:
There he goes, right out of the chopper... but did he survive the dismount? Yep.
9:58:
Commercial. Wall-E? Dude, what is with Pixar these days
10:02:
Ummm... is Sayid gonna kill Hurley? Oh, Bentham's dead. Ah-ha! Bentham's not Bentham's actual name! Thank God, we're getting somewhere. Is it Ben?
10:06:
Ack! Jin! JIN! DO NOT STAY WITH THE BOMB! You were just getting the hang of English! Oh, seriously, jokes aside: we hate this.
10:10:
The boat just blew up. And then: commercial. We are so not in the mood for some Dark Fucking Knight if Jin just kicked the bucket.
10:15:
Seriously, is this what happens each season finale now? They kill someone we love?.
10:16:
Hey, Sun's in London. Hey, Widmore's in London. Hey, where's the bullet in the head? So far, both Sun and Ben have been this close to Widmore and not killed him. That better go somewhere real juicy. Like a time machine that brings Jin and Charlie back.
10:19:
Commercial. "Viva la Vida" is a great name for a record; how come Coldplay got to use it?
10:22:
Hey, it's that A&E commercial we dug so much!
10:25:
Ben has to move the island -- and can never return. Also: Locke is the new Ben? Woah. That's a nice touch, guys. Thanks; we needed that after Jin and Coldplay. And why look -- it's the cast members that we'll get to know and love next year! Maybe then we'll figure out what's up with that never-aging Suddenly Susan guy.
10:28:
So, the thing that Ben was supposed to do that John couldn't was... turn a really big wheel? Ah, fuck you, guys. Seriously.
10:30:
And... the island just disappeared. What are the odds that when that chopper goes in the water, it jumps over a shark?
10:37:
No. Not Desmond. Not Desmond too. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please.
10:38:
Hooray! He's alive! And he could still be alive in the flash-forwards too, since he wasn't on Oceanic -- they could just put him back in the world separately. Which brings up a question: is he Jeremy Bentham? Nah.
10:40:
Claire. In a dream. She spoke with Kate's voice there at the end, though, huh?
10:43:
Is Jack gonna kill Frank and Desmond to keep everyone quiet? He actually might be capable of that... NO! NO! HAPPY ENDING FOR DESMOND! PENNY IS ON THE BOAT! Jesus God we needed this... Too bad they clearly shot their kissing scene on a soundstage.
10:46:
So Penny will cover up for Frank, who was hired by her evil dad, after all, and the rest of the six... well, they couldn't all just squeeze back into the world unnoticed like Michael, probably, huh?
10:49:
octagonglobalrecruiting.com, guys -- it's what all the Lost nerds are doing this summer. All summer.
10:52:
Hey, ABC: promise us never to bring Desmond back on the show again? Double plus promise? It'd be great to have one solid happy ending to look back on.
10:54:
Bearded Jack wants to see Jeremy Bentham. So do we. Uh, guess it's not Ben, who shows up and looks like he just popped out of a Berlin club/hacker den from Alias.
10:56:
So, Bentham is Locke, right? That's what we thought last year, the first time we were in this funeral home, and it turns out to maybe be true... Right? Right? Show us!!!
10:59:
Yep. So Season Four ends the exact way we thought Season Three had? Oh, also: they killed Jin. Um... Um? We're officially a little deflated by this season finale. Oh, well, see ya when Lost comes back. When is that again?