Separated at birth? Unlikely; J. Lo looks to be the work of the notorious "Dr. Photoshop".
Why has the world never gifted us with a Salma-Hayek-vs.-Jennifer-Lopez-movie? Like, you know, set in conquistador times, or our bedroom. Doesn't that seem like something someone with money, coke, a pecker, and a rich Angeleno's insensitivity to the many-hued tapestry that is the Latin world would have put together some time in 1999? Well, guess soon we'll have the next best thing, as Lopez follows in Hayek's Ugly Betty footsteps to produce her own story featuring a plucky heroine in treacherous, well-heeled environs.
Story centers on a professional thief who, in order to pull off a major bank heist, poses as a nanny to the three unruly children of a wealthy widower. When she starts to fall for the kids and their father, she must decide if she can give up her past for a chance to start over.
That actually doesn't sound so bad, but we have to say: seems like a one season story, more or less, to us. But what do we know; Prison Break has been on for 15 years or something.
Anyway, in other news, Ashley Dupre -- y'know, the surprisingly foxy prosty whose liaisons with New York governor Eliot Spitzer forced him to resign -- is gonna get her own show. And wouldn't you know it: unlike J. Lo's, it has the courtesy to be (almost!) just as worthless and sleazy as you'd hope.
Dupre had nixed a previous offer to do a Tila Tequila-style contest show for MTV, but Eliot Spitzer's tattooed honey was offered a new deal by LA reality-show producer David Krieff.
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"It's a seven-figure deal," said Krieff, the reality veteran who brought together Amy Fisher and the Buttafuocos for a TV special and did a similar pairing of rival ice queens Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding.
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The deal could include a two-hour interview in which Dupre would talk about her secret double life as "Kristen," a pricey prostitute whose hook-up with Spitzer at a DC hotel on Feb. 13 ruined his career.
The reality show would also focus on her family life as the stepdaughter of a wealthy oral surgeon in Wall, NJ - the life she fled to became a Manhattan prostitute but to which she's returned since the Spitzer scandal.
Elsewhere in the article, Dupre is reported to consider herself sort of like Dr. Phil. Which if we take that to mean "willing to put her nose way up the ass of the rich and powerful if it'll get her somewhere" like he used to do with Oprah: sure, we'll buy that.