This week’s Missy Elliot video challenge gave us America’s Best Dance Crew’s freakiest performance of the season -- and possibly the harshest judging of all time.
First the performances: So Real Crew was smooth as always, and Super Cr3w pulled off the usual tricks, but The f-ing Fanny Pack put on a jaw-dropping, pelvis-cracking, hair-raising, utterly twisted performance. Highlights: Thriller-style contact lenses, perfect staging, big-girl Glenda executing a full-on handspring back tuck, and the kind of choreography you need to see again to make sure you caught everything. Truly, the shit was inspirational, ya’ll.
The panel of judges, including guest star Missy Herself, gave the Fanny kids a standing O. The Pack is right up Missy’s freaky little alley. If mistress Missy doesn’t hire choreographer/dancer Matt for her next video, she’s almost as crazy as Lil Mama’s pastel rhinestone encrusted ball cap (yes, ladies and gentlemen, the universe is as it should be; the hat/ponytail is back).
However, ABDC judges giveth praise, and believeyoume, they also taketh away. Really, wear a mouth guard and a cup before confronting Lil Mama and the gang. The unfortunate Boogie Bots bore the brunt of the judges’ wrath this week. Their sloppy, borderline terrible performance earned them a verbal bitch slapping. Led by Mama, the judges basically told the pouting Bots that they didn’t deserve to be anywhere near the show . . . and now, they’re not.
It’s down to the last three: So Real Cru, Super Cr3w, and The Fanny Pack. All of whom, the judges agree, are worthy of the ABDC stage. In next week’s battle for the two finale spots, we hope everyone brings their A game or their protective head gear.
-- Olivia Purnell