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The Remote Island

"America's Best Dance Crew": Mama Is Not Pleased

Posted by Bryan Christian


And we can understand why . . .
 
The show this week began with the Around the World Challenge, a.k.a. embarrassingly terrible renditions of international dance styles.  Watching Super Cr3w try African dance was like watching Oprah try a headspin.  With adequate rehearsal time, we’re sure Oprah could do it . . . she’s Oprah.   But today, that headspin is just painful.  (Oprah, girl stop, don’t break your neck, you’re a national treasure.)  

And SoReal Cru.  Poor, sweet So Real Cru.  Normally these kids are so clean that your mama would eat off their floor. But throughout this World Challenge they were the sloppiest of joes, flailing, wiggling, hopping, trying to look Brazilian.  Capoiera takes practice, kids.

(Was the dance craze challenge better?  Uh, yeah . . . it was only boring instead of borderline offensive.)

It’s like this:  The last show is supposed to be a battle of the titans.  It’s supposed to be a no-holds-bar, gladiator-style, low down, grimy, fight to the death with sneer and spit and the sickest moves ever seen.  Instead we got a strange attempt at cultural exploration and audience participation.

Thank the heavens (and the MTV producers . . . and, for good measure, Oprah) for the Last Chance Dance.  So Real Cru’s “A Milli” number was surprisingly hot; the straightjacket ripping, Hannibal Lector choreography was as intense as Lil Wayne’s beat.  And Super Cr3w worked it out to James Brown, so in addition to their flawless B-boy duets, they invoked the Godfather of Soul with a stutter-glide and the patented cape gag.  Get Up Offa That Thang!

Those last two minutes of dance made us confused about who to vote for.  Luckily, voting is open until 9am on August 21st.  And in this week’s true finale, all the crews come back for one last hurrah.

-- Olivia Purnell 

PREVIOUSLY:
"America's Best Dance Crew": Pounding J.C. Chasez's Girl Chest Over Fanny Pack
"America's Best Dance Crew": Fanny Pack Get Thr Freak On!
+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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About Bryan Christian

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

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about the blogger

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

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