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The Remote Island

“Brothers and Sisters:” Brothers Kissing Sisters

Posted by Olivia Purnell

 

Does anybody care that Justin and Rebecca were brother and sister until, like, two episodes ago?  Anybody?

We here at The Remote Island are not prudes and we’re not haters.  But the implicit weirdness of Jubecca has got us crossing our legs whilst sipping on some haterade . . .

Not to fret Brothers and Sisters’ viewers, we absolutely lurve this show.  And as faithful viewers ourselves, we understand the logistics of it all: The youngest brother, Justin (how adorable is he?) became best friends with his supposed half-sister, Rebecca.  Rebecca helped Justin through some tough times including physical therapy and rehab after his tour of duty in Iraq.  

Then the inevitable twist came down from the heavens, a.k.a, the writer’s room.  Rebecca is not a blood relative.  So, the two can get it on. No harm, no foul.  And the whole Walker family is cool with this.  No one even bats an eye when Justin  (who is slightly less adorable now that he’s making out with his former sister) reveals their creepy relationship.

Then, then, Justin has the Hooksexup to ask siblings for sex advice.  Sex advice, Justin?  For real?  . . . And the siblings are all:  “what’s the big deal?”  “Just do it!”  “Man up.” Etcetera.  

What in the Sam hell is everyone so blasé about?  She was your sister five minutes ago.  Please excuse us while we go scrub ourselves down with a stiff loofa and some anti-incest soap.

But before we go de-louse, let us tell you the worst part:  They’re cute.  They’re effing cute together.  When they’re cuddling, and going for jogs in Griffith Park, and hanging out with Sarah’s kids.  They’re cute.  And we hate ourselves, but we kind of love them, even though they kind of remind us of a Jerry Springer episode circa 1992 (after Jerry’s mayoral reign and before the on-screen bitch slapping began).

In light of the fact that they are the shiniest sweetest couple ever, we’re truly trying to uncross our legs, put down the haterade and embrace Jubecca’s coupledom with the same intensity and speed with which these two pseudo-relatives embraced each other.  We are hesitant, but we will try.




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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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