So, we've been thinking about this Hugh Hefner break-up thing. It's not that we're surprised that Hugh Hefner and relatively long time girlfriend-next-door Holly Madison have called it quits, it's more like when we try to get our heads around the idea of Hugh Hefner, we feel like we need to lie down with a wet cloth on our forehead. We can't reconcile the real Hugh Hefner -- the one who presumably was once a little boy who liked a good popsicle -- with the icon Hugh Hefner who keeps a harem of beautiful girls a quarter of his age at his beck and call -- sort of like Big Love, but without the Mormonism (we're just kidding about this, don't write letters). The line between his public, cartoonish persona and his private self have merged into this cyborg being of reality and fiction. We're just saying, it's crazy.
Anyway, here's what he had to say about his recent break-up, complete with commentary from us:
"I had planned to spend the rest of my life with Holly" -- Here's the thing. We don't believe him exactly, but this little part of us -- possibly the part that tells us it's okay to eat the food at Taco Bell -- wonders if this relationship is merely an unconventional version of the get-together-fall-in-love-break-up sequence we've all been through.
"I was road kill a couple of weeks ago" -- Okay, we're not really sure what this means, but it was printed on its own, totally out of context, so your guess is really as good as ours.
"We tried to have a baby earlier this year and it didn't work out...She became very depressed" -- It's hard to say something funny about this one, but that just proves our point: Is there a possibility they could be for real? We feel almost ridiculous asking, but....whatever. Discuss.