Brace yourselves for one hell of an Election Night extravaganza - in case you thought commercial television might get all Jim Lehrer with its election coverage, think again. According to David Bauder of the AP, there will be holograms. And virtual reality. Magic Walls and launchpads. (But sadly, no Siegfried or Roy.)
NBC is leading the high-tech charge, imprinting an electoral map on the Rockefeller Center skating rink, and turning states blue or red as they're called. Banners for McCain and Obama will climb up the outside of 30 Rockefeller Plaza, showing the candidates nearing 270 electoral votes. ABC has more of a big brother approach, with three giant video screens over Times Square. And CNN will have a virtual reality Capitol, tracking the DNC's Donkey Kong-like assault on the Congress. Also: they'll have a hologram Wolf Blitzer. The New York Observer already made a Star Wars reference regarding this, so we'll have to just move on.
This insanity has even spread to our reliable and generally-unfancy friend Mr. Lehrer; Lehrer's PBS correspondents will be posting reports on Twitter. And Lehrer himself will be livevlogging in sequins and pasties. Oh, how would you know if it's true or not? You'll be watching holo-Wolf along with us anyways!
-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights