This week robot Cameron hits on John and the terminator Cromartie chases the Connors to Mexico.
First, lets discuss John and his life-sized Robot doll Cameron . . .
Cameron is/has always been creepy. She’s a terminator with the likeness of a slightly undernourished seventeen-year-old girl. Her stoic Children of the Corn vibe is less than soothing. And since sustaining chip-damage in the season-1 explosion, Cam has pulled some strange shit, including: telling John she loves him in order to save her own robot ass, reverting to the girl she was made to impersonate, and, last but not least, climbing into John’s bed to get him to break up with Riley. What?!
Both Mama Connor and Cameron agree; John’s girlfriend Riley is a security threat. Sarah Connor tries to appeal to John’s sense of duty and logic to get him to drop Riley. Cammie, on the other hand, throws on a sheer tank top and short-shorts, goes to John’s room, and curls up next to him in his twin-sized bed, whispering things like “I understand that being John Connor can be lonely.” What?!?!
Wait, wait . . . Is John gonna hit that? We’re going to need some kind of Parental Discretion Warning before that situation hits the fan. Angsty teen future savior of the world gets it on with his pretty robot companion. Summer Glau is adorable and all . . .
But that’s just not the show we signed on for.
We’re heartened by the fact that Cameron’s robot seduction doesn’t work all that well. John tells Cam that he needs some rest, and promises that he and his girlfriend are through. Then he sneaks out the back door, grabs Riley, and gets on a bus headed to Mexico. Of course, Johnny and the disaster that is Riley find a way to mix it up with the local authorities and end up in the clink.
After their arrest, John lights up the bat-signal, calling his Mommy and Uncle to come get him. Enter Cromartie with Sarah Connor in the trunk, comin’ across the border to kill John. Uncle Derrick is en route with Cammie (who must be pissed that Johnny resisted her roboto charms). Agent James Ellison is on his way too, thanks to the wide reach of the FBI.
It’s a veritable Mexican Connor Family reunion. Except instead of donning matching t-shirts and doing the electric slide, the Connor gang sets an ambush for Cromartie in the local church. In a faux-Desperado blaze of gun smoke and Christ-like glory, they finally kill the T-888 who’s been after them since season 1. Even with the heavy handed slow-motion, the smoke machines, the Spanish guitar, and Agent Ellison’s “All things are possible to him who believes” prologue, Cromartie’s death was a little anti-climactic. Which means he’ll be back. Yup, Governator Style.