Yes, yes, we're continuing our "naked women lying in bed" theme! We're that obvious! You complaining? Bear with us, there's a story: Jennifer Aniston's in the new issue of Vogue, moaning about Angelina Jolie stealing her man and then telling the world how she did it. Well, we love that -- we look forward to twelve more magazine covers, featuring Angie's response (according to unnamed, surprisingly scripted sounded sources) and then Jen's reported response to that response, and then Angie's responsible reponse in response the the responses. It'll go on forever! Hooray!/The End is Nigh!
Still, we have to correct Jen on one thing. She says...
I actually feel I've been incredibly lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
Uh, hello, Jennifer? Don't you read these magazines? You're miserable. You're dating a guy whose last big gf was a nationally recognized idiot, your 30 Rock cameo appears to be an excuse to get you in a french maid outfit, and (as you've noted) people keep asking you the one question guaranteed to remind you about your failed marriage. All we're saying is do a little research on yourself before you start talking.
-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights