Yeah, we know: Sarah Palin's quest for 2012 dominance of the GOP started on The Today Show. Ho hum. Why do we say that? Well, for one thing, we're pretty sure the GOP's candidates for 2012 will be the political equivalent of The Dirty Dozen: a ragtag of group of crude misfits, prone to fits of reactionary and unfounded violence, chosen first and foremost for their expendability.
But more importantly, there are way bigger fish to fry here than Sarah Palin. Like why in the name of Ned Flanders does NBC make Matt Lauer ever dress like that?
Does anyone here not think that Matt Lauer is a handsome -- dashing, even -- warrior of the morning news set? No. We all think he's pretty durn hunky, right? We all think -- nay, we know -- that in fact, he's a tasty slab of journalistic manmeat that cuts a stern figure in a suit even though he's losing his hair, and we all suspect that the reason we all hear so much about his constantly decaying second marriage is because upon seeing him in the street, women of all ages in the city of New York kick off their thongs and hike up their skirts so that Matt Lauer can see "where in the world" they want him to be: between their newshungry thighs.
So why -- WHY? -- does NBC dress him like a pederast?
Is it to make him seem more friendly? 'Cause he doesn't. He looks like he's trying to pull something over on us, something sexual involving our wives or children. See, here he is again.
It makes him look spiteful, like he's wearing this getup just to get in the front door. "Well, now that your tennis lesson is over, perhaps there's something else I can show you..."
Which he's not. And let's be clear about this: we trust Matt Lauer with our lives and, indeed, our wives. The point here, NBC, is that putting this guy in a red sweater, black socks, and brown shoes doesn't soften him up? Make him seem less virile? BECAUSE NOTHING CAN, NBC! Let the man be a hunk and be done with it.
The sheer cruelty of all this leaves us to wonder: is this, in fact, penance for some untold sin that we've not heard of? Possibly. Nothing else could account for the wardrobe people at 30 Rock not permanently stapling a pinstriped suit to this guy's rock hard chest and being done with it. The man simply must have done something shameful to his wife, Jeff Zucker, and the Shinehart Wig Company, all in the same day... but what?