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"Friday Night Lights": Everyone Just Calm Down

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Let us just say this:  If Jason (et al) loses his shirt over this house-flipping scheme, we're not going to be able to go on.  Really, how much more can a person take after breaking his back during the first football game of his senior year, losing his status as the number one ranked high school player in the nation, watching his college scholarship and professional career go up in smoke, losing his first girlfriend to his best friend, and losing his second girlfriend and his son to her parents in New Jersey.  We're just saying, we can't take any more.  Maybe Jason can, he seems to be a badass, but we definitely cannot -- this house thing needs to work out.

On to the episode, Buddy enlists Lyla and Tim to go with him to pick up his other kids from the airport.  Truth be told, we kind of forgot Lyla had siblings until just now -- they've been living with their mom in California -- you know, where people are streetwise vegans, and scoff at miniature golf.  Apparently, the Texas life is too backwoods for Buddy's other kids who'd rather forgo fishing trips and sing-a-longs in favor of Sex and the City and discussions of pubic hair.

Billy's trying to enlist Jason to help him get Tim into college.  Understandably, Jason has complicated/jealous feelings about Tim getting recruited to play college football so the whole thing's a bit awkward to say the least.  Per usual, Jason rallies and agrees to help Billy put together a highlight reel for Tim.  

In other news, the Garrity house somehow got finished.  Jason can't bear to part with the six percent they'd have to pay a realtor to sell the place, and decides to put the house on the market himself.  We're getting very nervous for reasons we mentioned previously.

Coach Taylor's having dinner with scary football dad who's just as scary as ever.  Tami's attempting to punish one of the football players, Jemarcus, who made a blow torch in chemistry class out of aerosol deoderant and a bunsen burner, but finds herself once again fighting a losing battle against the football powers that be.  It seems Jemarcus forged his parents' signatures to get on the team, and they are none too pleased when Tami inadvertently outs him during the parent-principal conference.  The parents pull the kid from the team, and Coach Taylor tells Tami off in what might be the most unreasonable freak out in the course of their marriage. Coach Taylor goes to see the football kid's parents to try to get them to let their kid play football.  Tami hits them with the football-inspires-kids speech and convinces them to go to a game.

Meanwhile, adorable bassist Devon is still trying to lift Landry's spirits.  We feel like it's only a matter of time before Landry caves under the weight of her cuteness.  We don't have to wait too long -- he gives her a ride home after practice and makes his move.  Devon responds cutely and we're feeling pretty great about this development until Landry interrupts Tyra's shift at Applebee's to announce the status of his new relationship. Why, Landry?  Turns out we needn't have worried because cute bassist Devon is gay.  Yes, gay.  Hmmmm.  Okay, then.  Guess their chemistry was more of the platonic variety.  Poor Landry feels foolish, and actually, we kind of do too.

Back at the Garrity house, Jason's overshot a bit on the asking price and tensions are running high.  Herk and Jason get into a wheelchair wrestling match, Billy tries to referee, and like a champ, Tim's still schmoozing the potential buyers.  Jason gives an impassioned speech about his son, and everyone calms down.

Friday night roles around and Jemarcus's parents are in the stands to watch him play.  Scary football dad is in rare form, J.D.'s kind of sucking for a change, Matt and Julie have barely shown their faces all episode, Jason's suddenly thinking about becoming a sports agent, and the Panthers make the playoffs.  There's a lot going on.   Predictably, Jemarcus's parents are totally into their son as a football star, so that works out fine; scary football dad's not speaking to J.D., but we sort of hate that whole plot line anyway; and Jason gets an offer on the house (from where we don't know, but we're grateful Jason still has his shirt).

The boys and Lyla gather at the former Garrity house for a viewing of Tim's highlight reel (which, by the way, makes us want to hug Jason for being so lovely).  We breathe a sigh of relief that at the moment nothing dreadful is looming.  Lyla gives Jason a pep talk about the sports agent thing, and they both tear up at the prospect of him leaving town.  If only Tim was here with some beers, it'd be a party.


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About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for hooksexup.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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