While robot Cameron is working on some sort of robot history project at the local library, John fools around with Riley in the back of his car.
Johnny wins . . .
Good for him, maybe a little lovin' will help his perma-brood. We’re excited that he’s getting some action. We’re just not particularly excited about Riley. Here’s why:
Strike 1: Riley’s a resistance spy from the future sent back to be Johnny’s girlfriend and save him from Cameron’s robot clutches. We can respect the resistance fighter thing (she’s trying to save humanity, what’s cooler than that?). But the physical girlfriend factor makes her a resistance-Geisha at best, whoring herself for the good of humanity. This makes us uncomfortable.
Strike 2: This week, Riley calls John up, pretending to be scared and in troubs. Like a good boy, John goes save her. But when he arrives, she’s fine and smiley, drinking beer, playing video games. She just wanted to see him. Yuck. Don’t play that card. The girl who cried rape is just not cute.
Strike 3: She’s bad at her morally questionable job. After manipulating John into attending a terrible house party, Riley steals a lighter from some skinny wife-beater wearing teen-rebel (with inexplicably pruned eyebrows . . . How can you be rebellious when you’ve spent all morning in the mirror with your tweezers?). John gets in a fight with the well-groomed young man, and pounds his over-plucked face in. This happens a lot when she’s around.
As John’s resistance-approved girlfriend, Riley is supposed to protect/nurture/love John. And she’s supposed to ensure his survival. Answering the door when a terminator knocks, landing him in Mexican prison, getting him in fights with West Side Story extras . . . these all seem counterproductive, no? Not the way to get that Geisha of the month plaque she was hoping for. You know, the one with the bronzed miniature kimono and removable hand mirror.