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Maria Bello to Star in “Sopranos”/“Weeds” Mashup

Posted by Olivia Purnell

 

Maria Bello has been in our filmic peripheral vision for quite sometime.  She’s been in some winners: A History of Violence (oh, Viggo Mortenson, how we love thee), The Cooler (if you haven’t seen it, rent the shit out of it), Coyote Ugly (thank god for cowboy boots and country pop tunes).  But Maria is always the stunning supporting player: the hot wife, the boozy love interest, the slutty bar-owner with a heart of gold.  While we love her, these flicks always leave us wanting more (see above photo).

So we’re happy to hear Maria will be front and center in her new project with HBO.  Even if it sounds crazy as hell.  Crazy. As. Hell.

In the yet-to-be-titled series, written by Gary Lennon of The Shield, Maria will follow in Mary Louise Parker’s footsteps as a hot widow who turns to crime to support her family.  Instead of dealing drugs, Maria will employ her three sons as “henchmen.”  Although the term “henchmen” makes us think of  Spy vs. Spy á la Mountain Dew, we’ll assume that it has more to do with mob collections and protections á la Tony Soprano (nymag.com). 

Honestly, we’re a little skeptical of the concept.  Isn’t McDonald’s hiring?  Isn’t the high-stakes life of French frying and burger flipping slightly more appealing than putting your sons into a life of knee-cap busting and, you know . . . mob-killing?

Whatevs.  We’ll take it as long as Maria keeps looking like this:

 


Loving the Bowtie.  Can we work bowties into this mob-boss/distraught mama plot line?


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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