OK, maybe not, but between Morgan's brilliant, rambling acceptance speech on behalf of 30 Rock -- "A black man can't get no love at the Emmys!" -- to Winslet's winning in two categories -- damn, dude, has anyone rocked roots highlights longer and better than her -- to Colin Farrell pulling what we would call the biggest upset of the evening -- Slumdog Millionaire be damned, In Bruges was a longer (though no less deserving) longshot -- we're almost sorry we didn't watch last night's Golden Globes.
Except of course, we're not; we tend to develop hives on our very souls midway through any awards show, no matter how drunk or Foreign Press-y. Also: 24 came back last night, and there was no way we were gonna DVR an awards show and watch it later. That's like reheating McDonald's.
Anyway, the television winners list is after the jump. Mostly what you'd expect, except for a win by Anna Paquin for True Blood, which... hang on, we didn't just actually type that, right?
(More on the Golden Globes later, btw... For now, click through for the full list of television winners.)
Winners denoted with "*"
TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
* "30 Rock"
"Californication"
"Entourage"
"The Office"
"Weeds"
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES -COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Christina Applegate - "Samantha Who?"
America Ferrera - "Ugly Betty"
* Tina Fey - "30 Rock"
Debra Messing - "The Starter Wife"
Mary-Louise Parker - "Weeds"
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES -COMEDY OR MUSICAL
* Alec Baldwin - "30 Rock"
Steve Carell - "The Office"
Kevin Connelly - "Entourage"
David Duchovny - "Californication"
Tony Shalhoub - "Monk"
TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
"Dexter" (Showtime)
"House" (Fox)
"In Treatment" (HBO)
* "Mad Men" (AMC)
"True Blood" (HBO)
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Sally Field — "Brothers and Sisters"
Mariska Hargitay — "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit"
January Jones — "Mad Men"
* Anna Paquin — "True Blood"
Kyra Sedgwick — "The Closer
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
* Gabriel Byrne — "In Treatment"
Michael Hall — "Dexter"
Jon Hamm — "Mad Men"
Hugh Laurie — "House"
Jonathan Rhys Meyers — "The Tudors"
MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
"A Raisin in the Sun"
"Bernard and Doris"
"Cranford"
* John Adams"
"Recount"
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Judi Dench — "Cranford"
Catherine Keener — "An American Crime"
* Laura Linney — "John Adams"
Shirley Maclaine — "Coco Chanel"
Susan Sarandon — "Bernard and Doris"
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Ralph Fiennes — "Bernard and Doris"
* Paul Giamatti — "John Adams"
Kevin Spacey — "Recount"
Kiefer Sutherland — "24: Redemption"
Tom Wilkinson –"Recount"
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Eileen Atkins — "Cranford"
* Laura Dern — "Recount"
Melissa George — "In Treatment"
Rachel Griffiths — "Brothers and Sisters"
Dianne Wiest — "In Treatment"
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Neil Patrick Harris — "How I Met Your Mother"
Denis Leary — "Recount"
Jeremy Piven — "Entourage"
Blair Underwood — "In Treatment"
* Tom Wilkinson — "John Adams"