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The Remote Island

"Bachelor" Finale SPOILERS -- Everyone Take a Deep Breath

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Here's the deal: Now that Jason's whittled it down to two remaining bachelorettes, there's been much ado about the allegedly breath-stealing drama of this season's Bachelor finale.  Everybody sitting down?  Got some water?  Okay, let's get into this...

 

SPOILER alert!  Read no further if you don't want to know the details!

Spoiler #1:  Jason proposes to one woman during the finale, dumps her during the reunion, and proposes to the other one...

The actual drama comes during the reunion, when Jason will dump Melissa and pick Molly instead, which surprises Melissa, because she spent the time between the show and taping the reunion Jan. 18 dating Jason. (Reality Blurred)

Spoiler #2: ABC has scheduled a second reunion special to try and make sense of the chaos...

ABC’s need to schedule a second reunion for the next evening to deal with the fallout from the first reunion, and also fits with its executive producer’s revelations about the finale. (Reality Blurred)

Spoiler #3: ABC orchestrated the whole thing to get ratings, and Jason went along with it...

"ABC knew exactly what they were doing when they released the hand with the freckles and the pinky ring,” because “Jason ends his engagement with Melissa, and begins a relationship with Molly during the reunion.” (via Reality Blurred)

Our thoughts:  We're mystified by the whole debacle.  At the risk of sounding like we've spent the last twelve seasons in a fog of naiveté, we admit that this is the first season of The Bachelor that we've considered the possibility that all these people are paid actors.  The trailer teasing Deanna's return to the show coinciding with her TV hosting gig was the first clue that something was awry, and now all this nonsense about a Network-esque final rose ceremony/reunion special?  Can this possibly be for real?  No, right?  Thoughts?

Previously:

 The Bachelor Finale Will Leave Us Breathless?


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for hooksexup.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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